10 Things You Need To Know About Protecting Your Relationship
It is when we say it will never happen' that we are not prepared to deal with any situation
. I urge you to read the following and take it to heart.
1.Realize that anyone is subject to an attraction to another person.
If you are truthful, you will agree that you have, at least once in your life, felt an instant attraction to another person. They could be a stranger or even an in-law.
2.Admit that you may be taking your partner for granted.'
It is easy to get into a rut and stop complimenting your partner for their contributions in your life and relationship. Everyone loves to receive a thank you for things they do for another person. Remember to tell them that you appreciate everything they do to help or assist in your relationship.
3. Make time for sex.
I probably should have put this as number one as it is one of the most important aspects of any relationship. We all get tired, don't seem to have enough hours in the day, tend to the children, and the list goes on and on. However, if you do not make time for each other, someone out there is more than willing to share your partners' bed.
4. Remember what attracted you to your partner.
You may say you already do this but I doubt it. When you were dating, I am sure you were on your best behavior', sweet and kind, waiting on the other person, hanging onto every word and sharing experiences. Do you do this now? Do you see your partner across the room and feel that heart pounding?
5.Be impulsive
That's right. Simple little gestures can show your partner that you still care for them... more than anyone else in the world. It may sound corny but putting little notes' in the lunchbox or in the car for your partner to find, calling them just to say I love you' or even setting up a surprise get-away will mean more to that man or woman of yours than any promises. Don't just talk the talk' but walk the walk.'
6.Do not hold onto anger
Yeah, I know, you were right about shutting the cars window and now the rain has soaked the driver's seat. Get over it! Can your partner change what has happened? Is not talking to them going to remove the rain from the car seat? Of course not. It is fine to acknowledge that it did rain and the car seat was soaked but to hold anger against your partner is totally unproductive and harmful to any relationship. I'm sure they got the message loud and clear the first time you said it. Move on.
7. Communicate in a positive manner
He is late every day coming home from work and you've slaved over fixing a meal. You are at your wits end. You've told him this and he keeps coming home later and later. So, of course he doesn't care about your feelings, right. Don't be so sure. He may just be closing his ears because you are communicating defensively. You are attacking him. Try this:
When you are both more relaxed, take his hand, look into his eyes and say this: Look, I may be 100% wrong but I have to be truthful to you about my feelings. If I can't share my true feelings with you, who can I share them with? I also want you to know that I am not judging you or saying you are wrong but when you stay out late and don't call me, it upsets me. I start thinking you've been in an accident or you don't want to come home to me, or that you don't care that it upsets me. Do you understand my feelings?
This should allow him to look at how his not calling affects you, not as an attack against him, but as real honest feelings, you are having.
8. Have a plan should you ever be in a situation that you feel tempted.'
Oh, that will never happen to me, you say. Oh yeah, well ask the thousands of people who have been unfaithful in a relationship if they ever thought they would do so. Three quarters will tell you that the thought never crossed their minds. It just happened.'
If that gorgeous guy at work who makes your heart beat a bit, corners you at the company party, be prepared. Especially since your husband couldn't make it to the party and you are there all alone.
You always have that moment to remind yourself of your love for your partner and even if you would enjoy a fling with this guy, you have that moment to think about how much it would hurt your partner. Then simply move away. Remember, temptation and attraction are normal, acting on them impulsively is not.
9. Be as attractive as you are able.
So, you gained a few pounds after the baby or you have that little beer gut hanging over the belt a bit. Everyone has flaws. In all honesty, most of the people whom the cheater' decides to have a fling with are not more attractive than you. In fact, most are less physically attractive but give their entire attention to the cheater.' So quit bellyaching about your own flaws. Be clean, keep your hair nice and wear clothing that is appealing to your specific body shape. Change that attitude and realize you are a nice looking person. Be confident in yourself for who you are, not who you are not.
10. Enjoy each other's company.
Sounds easy, doesn't it? To enjoy someone's company, you must actually listen to what they are saying or look at what they are actually doing. Give them your attention when they talk...hear what they are saying, and you will find that you can actually have a real, meaningful conversation with them. If you are thinking about the laundry, or what you want to say to top their story, then you are not listening. It is the Ying and Yang give to each other and you will receive 100% back.
10 Things You Need To Know About Protecting Your Relationship
By: Monica Brinkman
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