3 Tips On How To Forgive Infidelity And Move Beyond The Affair
3 Tips On How To Forgive Infidelity And Move Beyond The Affair
Learning how to forgive infidelity can be very difficult for some people and I assume that you are struggling with this as well. I'm sure your heart is telling you to stay and try to work things out but your mind is saying "leave the cheating (fill in the blank). I hope you listen to your heart and learn how to forgive infidelity.
What does it mean to forgive infidelity? As noted by David Augsburger;
"Forgiveness is letting what was, be gone; What will be, come; What is now, be"
Learning how to forgive is about letting go of the past and moving into the future wiser, and with renewed hope and faith. I realize it's hard to forgive infidelity but it's really not possible to live freely and fully without forgiving.
How To Forgive Infidelity Tips
Understand that you are forgiving your spouse and not the affair. The infidelity was probably the worst thing your spouse has ever done to you. I'm sure words can't describe how much you detest and resent him or her sleeping with another person. It's important for you to get clear in your mind that you are trying to figure out how to forgive your spouse and not his or her adulterous behavior.
Commit to forgiving your cheating spouse. There is a difference between saying you want to forgive and actually having your actions back up your words. Please understand that I'm not suggesting that your forgiving be done immediately but if healing is to come you need to take steps (albeit) baby steps. Don't tell your spouse he or she is forgiven until you mean it.
Be honest and open with your spouse. Mastering communication is one of the most important aspects of figuring out how to forgive infidelity by your spouse. You need to let your spouse know exactly how you feel and get all of your questions about the infidelity answered. It's hard to let go of the past if you still have unanswered questions about the infidelity.
Learning how to deal with infidelity is something none of us ever prepare for so don't be too hard on yourself if you are struggling. What's important is that you don't rush but rather make sure you do what's best for your marriage and self. I believe with all of my heart that you need to forgive your cheating spouse, whether you decide to stay married or not.