4 Barriers Mothers Face When Raising Their Daughters

4 Barriers Mothers Face When Raising Their Daughters

During the time before I became a mother, I remember several times hearing the statement, "Wait until you have your own daughter then you will see what it's like." There were many preconceived ideas that people had about raising a daughter so before I even got started the belief had already been programmed into me that if I had a daughter I was going to have a lot of challenges. I heard many times that it was much easier raising boys than it was girls.

Do you see what I'm getting at?

Our daughters barely even have a chance because we have already been conditioned to belief that they are going to be difficult. As we carry that energy with us through the birth of our daughters and then into their childhood and teenage years we get exactly what we believed that we were going to get. Our thoughts and beliefs create our reality so unless you have changed that belief someone along the way you will undoubtedly experience the challenges that you thought you would.

As a mother myself and having worked with other mothers who are struggling with their daughters, I have come up with 4 barriers when it comes to raising your daughter.

Barrier 1 Failure to Communicate its human nature to want the best for our daughters and in doing so we sometimes forget that she has her own opinions that she needs to express. We get so wrapped up in what we think is right and wrong and rather than just listening to what she has to say we tend to judge based on our own opinions and beliefs. Remember that part of communicating is listening. You may be surprised at what you can learn from her if you're just open to hearing her out.

Barrier 2 Fear of Letting Go We want to protect our daughters from making the same mistakes that we did so rather than trusting that they will make the right choices we hold them back. The things that we see as mistakes in our lives are what encouraged us to get to where we are now. There are no mistakes. Everything happens for a reason. Where you are, is exactly where you are suppose to be in this moment. It is important to give your daughter that same opportunity allowing her to learn and grow and accepting her for who she is and not who you think she should be.

Barrier 3 Need to Control - This can become a real power struggle between mothers and daughters. There is a need to be in control by making decisions for her based on what you believe to be right or wrong, good or bad. Although mothers and daughters are usually very much alike, they still perceive things differently. Rather than telling her what you feel is right or wrong, good or bad, why not ask her what her feelings about it are. By asking questions and letting your daughter give you the answers you are letting go of the control. You are now encouraging her to see things from a different perspective.

Barrier 4 Believing that we have all the answers We often get caught up in our own belief of, "I know what's right for my daughter." Although mother daughter relationships are primal and the first real connection that our daughters experience we can't possibly know what is right for them all the time no more than our mother's could always know what was right for us. What is right for us isn't necessarily right for them. It is only our point of view.

By getting past these 4 barriers you will be on your way to experiencing a more open and trusting relationship with your daughter.

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