4 Tips for Fostering Independence In Your Toddler

One of the most important things we can teach a child is independence

. This especially holds true in today's society, where there are so many distractions and temptations that call to young people as they grow, and the only real way to minimize risks is to teach your child at a young age to be a thinking adult.So here are 4 tips for encouraging the development of independence in your toddler.1. Expect Mood Swings and TurmoilBe aware that ever child will have their clingy moments and moments when they're just out of control and won't listen to anyone. Children, just like the rest of us, are subject to all kinds of emotions and hormones. Understand that there will be rockiness and turmoil along the way; it's up to you to be the stable, yet flexible one that isn't rocked by huge mood swings and let's them run their course without a huge response.2. Adjust to Their Varying Degrees of ClinginessSome parents who want to foster independence in their kids make it a point to never accept any kind of clinginess and will highly discourage it and push a child away that shows these tendencies. But while you might think you're doing them a favor that will build their character, the truth is that the pushing away just inspires more clinginess.Some degree of clinginess is natural, and it's important in the early stages of their social development to pay attention to their needs. When they want to run around doing their own thing, let them. If they are in a clingy mood, let them be. Watch for extremes, of course, but by allowing them the comfort of you being available, they gain confidence in separation.3. Teach Them to Think Rather Thank ObeyWhen they do something wrong or you want to guide them, don't be the ultimate authority. It's okay to be stern, but laying down "the law" and telling them how to act and how to think every step of the way builds a dependent nature.Instead, teach them to think and offer decisions when possible. Help to walk them through those decisions, but options provide a chance to think for themselves.4. Ease Them Into Your AbsenceOne of the most important times for building independence are those inevitable moments when you have to separate. Do not think that running out the back door while they are busy watching TV is the way to get around tantrums and teach them to be okay without youthat's only going to build a sense of uncertainty in their mind about when you will be there and when you won't.Instead, sit down and speak with them when it's time to be apart. Explain the reasons and give them a little pep talkacting positive about it but not drawing it out into a long goodbye. Also, make sure they know and trust whoever you are leaving them with. Don't just throw them in a room with a complete stranger and expect them to be comfortable with that.When it comes down to it, the path to an independent mind is a lifelong endeavor, but a great portion of it begins in the pre-adolescent years and has a lot to do with the emotional security you provide. While it may be tempting to think all this reassurance causes the opposite effect, in the end, it's the security that will allow them the confidence to step into the world alone.

4 Tips for Fostering Independence In Your Toddler

By: James Druman

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