4 Tough Conversations You Need To Have With Your Elderly Parent

Mom, we need to talk about aging

Mom, we need to talk about aging. Who wants to engage in a conversation like this? No one. For many families, the discussion around who will care for Mom or Dad usually comes on the heels of a crisis that leaves most adult children unprepared to handle their parent's immediate and long-term care. And, as uncomfortable as this conversation may seem, we must muster up the courage to talk to our parents about their future and how everyone can work together for the common goal of helping our parents age well with dignity and as much independence as possible.

Candy Smith, owner of the American Canyon office of the International Franchise Home Instead Senior Care, knows this struggle all too well. It's difficult for children to get those conversations out on the table and the idea is to have those conversations before a crisis arrives. Our elders are too important to allow it to go unaddressed, said Smith. On the other side of it Smith said, Parents don't want to worry kids about health and financial issues and it can be frightening to talk about planning for a time that parents can no longer care for themselves totally.

Here is the classic communication barrier issue between aging parents and their children. Conversations become uncomfortable. Conversations about future care and finances are sensitive issues that are difficult for adult children to bring up with their parents.

A recent study that was commissioned by Home Instead revealed that many adult children are not successfully shifting from a parent-child relationship to a peer-to-peer relationship. The study also indicated that adult children have the most difficulty talking with their parents about independence issues, such as continuing to live in their own home, and that their parent's desire to remain independent makes it challenging to address such sensitive issues as health and money. These findings, Smith said, help to explain why these important conversations between parents and children can take years to get started.

Following is a list of the most common topics that adult children resist talking to their parents about.

Discussing your concerns about your parents living at risk (Starting Point Conversation Plan)

Discussing whether it is still safe for your parent to drive (Removing the License Plan)

Discussing health procedures (Living Will Plan)

Discussing end of life preparations (End of Life Plan)

To help you battle through and prepare for these uncomfortable topics, we have supplied a series of planning sheets that you can use for guidance when you discuss each uncomfortable issue in the Care Planning Formula: Part 1 eBook Kit found at http://www.navacarenow.com/care-n-planning.php

by: Nava Care Now

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