5 Tips for Saving Your Marriage:What a Relationship Counselor Won't Tell You

How do you save a marriage? Relationship experts have their opinions on how this

can happen and have zillions of self-help books to back their theories. But divorce still remains exists in many homes. This is not to say relationship experts and the books they write don't amount to much. The truth is that no matter the amount of advice they offer, some things just require a personal approach based on the situations at hand. Need tips on saving your marriage? Read on.

Cancel Out Divorce

If you've been talking about divorce, but neither of you really want it, banish all talk of it from your conversations. It's not an option, so why are you even mentioning it? Some people tend to use the d-word as a threat, even though they never plan to carry through. The problem with that is the more often you bring up the subject, the more likely it will become reality

Remember respect!

Can you remember your first few dates, when you hardly knew each other and were nervous just to be around each other? You said "please" and "thank you" and if any disagreements came up you patiently and politely resolved them? You don't have to fall in love all over again (at least, not right this minute), but if you want to find out how to save your marriage, at least try to get back to that level of respect with each other.

Accept that your spouse is imperfect!

When you're newlyweds, it's easy to ignore those annoying little habits your partner might have like leaving clothes on the floor or forgetting to fill the gas tank. After a few years living together, though, the irritation builds up and you start to wish your spouse would just stop it already. The next time your spouse does something that irritates you, consider whether it's really all that serious. If not, let it go.

Stop criticizing!

Even if you've managed to accomplish the goal above, this one's easier said than done. Once you've fallen into the habit, it takes some effort to stop, but try to avoid verbally attacking your spouse for doing something you don't like. That doesn't mean you shouldn't let them know when something they do bothers you, but doing so in a non-judgmental way can make life a lot easier.

Learn about the opposite gender!

No, sitting in the park and watching them walk by doesn't count. I mean taking an open-minded approach to understanding the way the opposite gender typically approaches intimate relationships. You may think because you've been around them all your life you know them. But you might be surprised how what you learn can help you discover how to save your marriage. And if do you learn something that surprises you, don't take some book's word for it. Ask your spouse if that's how they feel, too, and you just may hit a revealing goldmine.

Figuring out how to save a marriage doesn't have to be complicated, but you can't always rely on the free information you find on the Internet. Even self-help books written by professional marriage counselors leave out some of the fundamentals, so as you try to mend your marriage, make sure you start with a good foundation.

5 Tips for Saving Your Marriage:What a Relationship Counselor Won't Tell You

By: Deborah Banks

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