8 Tips To Stop Your Marriage From Ending In Divorce
8 Tips To Stop Your Marriage From Ending In Divorce
You and your spouse are not always going to agree on everything in your marriage. Many marriages fail as a result of miscommunication and disagreements that just can't seem to be solved. What's important in order to make the marriage work, however, is that the two of you genuinely desire to resolve your differences or at the very least, learn to live with and accept the conflicting opinions and beliefs of one another.
Here are 8 tips to help you get past your differences and/or learn to accept them so that the two of you can achieve a more fulfilling marriage and avoid a divorce later down the line:
1 - Let go of the need to be "right."
While arguments begin as disagreements, they continue and inflate generally because one or both of you is trying to prove to or convince the other that your opinion is the "right" one. You have to let this go. You don't have to agree with your spouse's opinion, you simply need to stop trying to force them to agree with yours.
2 - Recognize and acknowledge conflict.
Realize that disagreements in your relationship are natural no matter how compatible or happy the two of you are right now. Sooner or later, the two of you will fail to agree on some aspect within your marriage, so it is important that you see that as being okay. Relax about it, and try to use conflict to positively reinforce your bond as it often does when the two of you conquer each road bump successfully.
3 - Listen to the concerns of your spouse.
You may have heard before that you were born with 2 ears and 1 mouth for a reason; meaning you should listen twice as much as you speak. Be sure to listen to your spouse attentively. Give them your full attention without thinking about what your response is going to be. Doing so will give your spouse the impression that his or her opinion really matters to you, again reinforcing the bond between you.
4 - Come back to conflict when appropriate.
Sometimes it will be best if the two of you don't pursue a resolution to a disagreement, at least, not right this very minute. It could be that the two of you have already become too upset to communicate clearly with one another. Whatever the reason, calmly let your spouse know that you feel it is best if the two of you drop the discussion for now, and agree with them to come back to it at a more appropriate time. Often, a disagreement can be resolved much better once the two of you have been given a chance to cool off and clear your minds.
5 - Accept responsibility for your role.
Everyone likes to think that their spouse is the one to blame when there are problems in a marriage, but you must realize that you do have a role in those same problems. Recognize your role and accept it. Analyze the behaviors that you might exhibit that either contribute to the problems or at the very least, keep them from being resolved properly. Avoid or even change those behaviors.
6 - Be willing to compromise.
A marriage is a partnership, plain and simple. In any partnership, both parties are going to have to learn to compromise where necessary in order for them to continue to work together as a team. If some behavior of yours is affecting your relationship negatively, perhaps it is time to work on changing that behavior if you want the relationship to continue to work. Remember, the goal here is to keep your marriage together, to live happily together and not simply to get your way. Learn and be willing to compromise.
7 - Work as a team to resolve differences.
The key to a successful marriage is to view problems in the marriage from the standpoint of it's "us against the problem" and not "it's me against my spouse." In other words, you can't approach a problem in the marriage as though each of you is on either side of a boundary; on one side is your spouse and his or her opinion and on the other side is you and your opinion. Instead, you need to approach problems as though the two of you are working as a team on the same side of the boundary. Work together.
8 - Search for as many solutions as possible.
Try to come up with as many different solutions to a problem as you possibly can, and write them down. Write down even the ones that you think may not work, including those that you may not be so willing to implement. The more solutions you can come up with, the better. Share those solutions with your spouse, and listen to his or her own ideas as well. Try to find one that the two of you can agree on, and implement it. Remember to stick with whatever solution you've agreed to.
Apply these concepts to your marriage whenever you have differences of opinion, and you'll have a much better chance of resolving conflict or even avoiding it altogether. As long as the two of you continue to be willing to compromise where necessary, and work together as a team, your marriage will constantly improve as the bond between the two of you grows stronger with each new challenge conquered.
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