A Bag, The Essential Accessory, Or So I Am Told

The problem is that I don't even know where to start

. How do you go about educating yourself on handbags and shoes at my age? I was in New York last month and thought if there was anywhere to get a bag, New York would be it. I tried a couple of times but my ever-so-vogue-sister quickly shot down any suggested purchases, with an are-you-kidding-look.

What was I doing wrong? What is there to know? What does the rest of womendom know that I don't? I am sitting here perplexed as I write this. To tell you the truth I can't tell a $30. bag from a $400. bag. I can't tell cheap shoes from expensive shoes. How do women know these things? I have heard it tell that salespersons judge the spending habits of potential clients by their shoes and bags, not purses, mind you, but bags. Gotta know the lingo. Maybe that is why no one helps me when I wander into a high end department store.

Brothers, sons, boys, smelly socks, ski boots, cleats, tennis shoes, running shoes, hiking boots, hunting boots, fins, water socks, I even know which shoes should be worn with suits, or khakis; just don't ask me what shoes to wear with Capri's or a skirts. My answer to shoes is always simple, just choose matching colored flip flops. Well, at least I don't call them thongs anymore. See, I am learning. Shoes, there is a whole world out there where I am an alien. When I hear of movie stars that own 200 pairs, I think wow, I didn't know there were 200 different kinds of shoes.

I can tell you a buck from a doe or a cow from a bull, I can tell an antelope from a ram but I can't tell you which bag is for the opera, which is for shopping and which goes with jeans. Is that jeans with heels or just jeans and a sweat shirt?

I have spent a little time on-line lately, I can tell you there are beautiful designer handbags out there. If someone will just tell me which goes with which, I might just buy one, something edgy like orange or kelly green to start with. I need a tour guide to help me find my way through middle age womanhood.

by: Art Gib

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