A Seven Step Plan For Detaching From Manipulative People - Christian Relationship Help

Are you looking for Christian relationship help

? Then here is a seven step plan for detaching from manipulative people.

People do all kinds of things to pressure us to do what they want us to do. It is up to us to see through the manipulation and do what is right for us. People use guilt, dishonesty, avoidance, blame, deflection, punishment, pressure, abuse, and withholding of approval and love. They pretend to not understand what we are saying. They blame us for the problem. They deflect the conversation by bringing up something else, focusing on a detail that doesn't matter, or getting us to defend ourselves when they don't want to talk about the issues.

Janet's mom was good at this. When Janet would tell her mom she wasn't coming over, her mom would bring up something that she needed help with. When Janet tried to talk to her about problems in their relationship, her mom would say her heart was hurting and she needed her heart medicine. When Janet tried to confront her mom on something she had said to her that was hurtful, she would talk about how sensitive and ungrateful Janet had always been. If Janet held her ground and didn't come over, her mom would call Janet's brother and complain about how neglected she is.

Janet knows her mom manipulates her, but Janet isn't strong enough to withstand it. When her mom attacks her, Janet tries to defend herself. When her mom brings up her heart problem, Janet apologizes for upsetting her. When her mom calls her brother, Janet worries about what he thinks. When her mom says she needs help, Janet wants to say no, but she can't stand feeling guilty so she gives in to her demands.

Janet's mother is obviously manipulative. Anyone in a relationship with a manipulative person knows how difficult it is to withstand the pressure. You can detach by using this seven step plan for detaching from manipulative people:

1. Identify the way the person manipulates.

2. Identify how you are affected by the manipulation.

3. Develop a plan to respond to the manipulation.

4. Recognize when the manipulation happens.

5. Implement the plan.

6. Detach from the person's reaction.

7. Do what you need to do and believe is right.

Jesus warned us not to entrust ourselves to people without paying attention to who they are (Luke 2:24-25). Until we are clear on the manipulation, how we are affected, and how we plan to respond to it, we will give in to the pressure and end up disliking ourselves and the other person too, which is typical for people struggling with Christian codependency.

Relationship Prayer: God, help me to see how people try to manipulate me and help me to be strong enough to detach from their reactions.

Relationship Challenge: Use this Seven Step Plan to detach from the manipulative people in your life.

Applying this Christian relationship help with the seven step plan is the only way you can stop the destructive cycle and detach from manipulative people.

by: Karla Downing

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