A Sociological Case Study Tells Why Lahaska Subway Sandwich Shop Is Bad For Your Mental Health

Have you ever wondered why American customer service and retail service is nothing more than a pathetic joke?

Stay with me on this because I think I have finally figured this out. In life there are those that succeed and those who miss the boat. Those who miss the boat typically couldn't perform in high school therefore couldn't attend university and when one doesn't attend college they typically fall deeper and further from the position they once dreamed and soon develop an alter ego to give them the ability to make it through the day without breaking into tears at every turn. This split personality is the one that stems from an inferiority complex and self-hate due to lack of ability to gain a legitimate acceptance with the 'in' crowd that they fantasize about. Sadly these people will go from one relationship to another, one fast food joint to the next and never make it in life, I have coined this Subway Lahaska Syndrome and you'll find out why in a few sentences.

I've lived in Lahaska and New Hope, Pennsylvania all my life (a small Philadelphia suburb), did my under grad at PENN with an MBA from Wharton, a majority of the local population comes from a similar pedigree so I say this, not to impress the reader but to set a stage for the money that people have to spend in this locality on premium goods and what is expected in return.

When someone buys a product with a premium price tag they will expect a premium grade service to go along with it yet time and time again we are let down. Why is this? Why is it that customer service and a smile are archaic and obsolete only to be replaced by a social misfit that believes that the money people pay for a service somehow gives them a localized and vicarious (via those buying with money to spend) platform to treat people like dirt? I was in Lahaska the other day and for a quick bite to eat we stopped into a Subway sandwich stop, you know, the big franchise chain with the goofy fat guy that got skinny who is now fat again as the spokesperson? Yes, there you go, now you remember. After standing in line for 5 minutes I told my son to just go to the bathroom and wash his hands before we eat. The guy we were ordering our food from said, 'that kid needs a key before he can get into the bathroom', I said that we were in line and waiting and I don't want my son to eat with dirty hands. "Nope, you wait, now shut up!" this Russian responded. I could hardly believe what I heard. It took a lot of control keeping me from jumping over the counter and putting him in a sandwich if you know what I mean. Anyway, we would have just walked out but were in a hurry so we were up next and just ordered, they eventually gave my son the key to the lavatory while they finished our order by making his sandwich. I paid and my wife and I sat down. When my son came out he went up and grabbed his sandwich and brought it back to the table and I kid you not, as he was about to take his first bite, my wife yelped and I almost screamed, there was a cockroach the size of a small bird peeking out of the end of his sandwich. I couldn't believe it. I took it up to the manager and he just laughed and said, if I make you another one I'll have to charge you for it. Irate, I just left the food there and walked out in disgust.

What is it that makes these Lahaska Subway sandwich scumbags actually treat people like this? Here is where our case study begins. Sadly, every town has a Subway sandwich shop like the one in Lahaska kind of store where they treat people like trash, insult their customers and somehow, they stay afloat. The moral of this story is that those who underachieve yet want the legitimacy of 'achievers' will always be with us. They are the sad incarcerated desolate who one day just gave up on life, the 40 year old Subway franchise counter worker trying to be with the in crown yet hopelessly and desolately fails over and over again until they give up and at the end of the day are only qualified to flip ham and cheese sandwiches at a local fast food joint. We as a society need to be patient with these underachievers and social cranks. Rehabilitation is possible and we can help them by accepting them for what they are and instead of getting angry, it's OK to laugh at them (or with them) but don't waste time and energy in returning the awkward social ignorance of the intellectually inferior and socially unacceptable.

by: Paul Waxman

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