All I Want For Christmas Is A Cell Phone Stun Gun

Dear Santa,

Dear Santa,

I know I usually write to ask you for something awesome like a football, bike or the like but this year I really have my heart set on a cell phone stun gun. Footballs and bikes are great but they arent going to prevent me from being violently physically assaulted this holiday season. A cell phone stun gun on the other hand will do just that. If anyone tries to attack me while Im carrying one of these its going to be ho ho horrendous for them.

Did you know that these Pretender cell phone stun guns pack a 4.5 million volt punch and are disguised to look exactly like a real cell phone, Santa? A 4.5 million volt shock is more than enough to stop any attacker from attacking me while I am in the dimly lit parking lots of the local mall. And speaking of light it also comes with a built in 12 LED super-bright flashlight and who cant use a super-bright flashlight? You might want to look into one of these for yourself in case we get one of those foggy Christmas eve nights and Rudolph is sick with hoof-and-mouth. I am completely kidding, please dont tell Rudolph I said that.

I have been awfully good this year and sure would love for you to come down the chimney with one of these cell phone stun guns in your bag. I know you may be worried about me accidentally shocking myself but Im here to tell you that accidental discharge is made almost impossible thanks to the two levels of safety that these Pretender stun guns operate on. For one the safety switch must be in the on position and the trigger button depressed in order for the unit to operate. Once the safety switch is in the on position an LED warning light will come on letting me know that its show time once I press the trigger.

I think my favorite part about any stun device is that they are non-lethal forms of self-defense. In fact the attacker is almost always left with no permanent damage whatsoever. I couldnt bear the thought of taking anothers life, especially at Christmas time, Santa.

So please keep this in mind when you are having your elves make me another hideous necktie or Mrs. Claus is knitting me another of those itchy sweaters. Not that I didnt love both of those gifts but a Pretender cell phone stun gun is what I really want and Ive been relatively good, Santa. I really have.

Stay Safe,

Puzek Security Systems

by: Carl Vouer

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