Am I In A Toxic Relationship And How Can I Get Out?

Do you think you may be in a toxic relationship

? Lets first think about relationships in general. Relationships are about loving, supporting and respecting each other and ourselves. We all start off with that wonderful, euphoric feeling of falling in love. Many times this feeling diminishes a bit as life challenges seeps in. Very few couples are able to maintain this honeymoon long-term. The difference that separates toxic relationships is what comes after the honeymoon is over.

Here are a few signals to watch for in a toxic relationship:

One partner is more controlling than the other

The partner verbal puts down the other privately and/or publicly

The partner is physically abusive

There is a constant need to possess all aspect of the others life

Contact with friends and family is minimal

Feelings of guilt and/or shame is usually present

Fear of abandonment is also present

The partner feels helpless and lacks esteem and individuality

Our first toxic relationship may or may not have been with the current partner. Unfortunately, its not uncommon for children to grow up in toxic families or hang out with friends who are controlling. After enough experiences, one may feel helplessness and abandonment in relationships or may feel the need to overcompensate by being too caring. If they dont take care of their partner or do what their partner says, the partner will leave them. This fear can be stronger than any abuse suffered during the relationship.

After realizing youre in a toxic relationship, how do you get out of it?

1) Take responsibilities for your past decisions, but know its not all your fault. People who are manipulative know how to create a toxic relationship and keep you under their thumb. But now you know where youre at and can make better choices.

2) Realize you really do have choices. You can start by making smaller choices such as taking care of yourself, treating yourself to something special. You want to really know how to love yourself better. Then make bigger choices such as choosing better friends who can support you. Or choosing to let go of the relationship if your partner doesnt give you the respect and support you truly deserve.

3) Surround yourself with people who love and truly have your best interest in mind. Having this support can make you stronger and more level-headed when big decisions are necessary.

4) Realize that you have value and are loveable just as you are. Maybe your partner is too wrapped up in their own concerns, but that doesnt mean you cant be loved by others.

By understanding and appreciating your true worth, you can be able to move away from any toxic relationship and on to more loving and fulfilling relationships. Most importantly, learn something from every relationship. Its not uncommon for a person to break off one toxic relationship and head straight into another one. Avoid this by remembering how valuable you are as an individual and you are worth loving and being with just as you are.

by: Helena Jackson

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