I've talked to a lot of men who seem to loose their cool when their significant other puts on the brakes in the bedroom.
On a mission
These men can't seem to understand how their plan failed. In their minds they did everything right. They started early, ready to seduce their way into their girlfriends or wives good graces. They think to themselves "If this mission is successful tonight will be the night." The problem is your woman is not a mission and she can not be manipulated.
Now don't get me wrong your wife appreciates your cuddling. She notices how you turned off the football game when she wanted to talk. She sees you playing with the kids and washing the dishes but none of these acts of kindness are a guaranteed free pass to pleasure.
Rejected
So when the time comes to cash in on your good deeds and she denies you as you go up for a lay up in the paint stay in control because anger is the ultimate anti-aphrodisiac. You will turn her off for good if you let your hurt feelings get the best of you.
Women are like crock pots
Trust me your efforts are not in vain. Men are like microwaves while women are like crock pots, they have to simmer a bit. Often times women are a day behind us. All of the love you showed her today will be returned to you 100 times tomorrow, but if you attack her by calling her frigid, if you retreat into a sci-fi movie or your next work project after being rejected your cause is lost.
Anger Management is for the bedroom.
There are several anger management tools that can benefit you during a dry spell with your partner.
Communicate to her how bad you wanted her but let her know you understand if she is not in the mood at the moment.
Let her know how your sex life is directly tied to how you feel as a man, but you can adjust your expectation for the good of the relationship.
Be empathetic, try to understand her point of view. Is she tired? What is her emotional state? Get beyond your own needs and walk a day in her shoes.
Hit or few push ups or go for a run to relieve in extra sexual tension.
Lastly recognize sex is just one attribute in a relationship. Make sure you are treating your wife as a whole person not just a receptacle for your sexual frustration.