Are Our Relationships Sinking?

Sixty-six percent of American families sometimes or always sleep with children in their bed and 16% sleep with pets

. That's according to a 2005 survey. According to a 2005 survey by the National Sleep Foundation, almost 25% of couples sleep in separate beds or bedrooms. In fact, the National Association of Home Builders predicts 60% of custom homes will have 2 master bedrooms by 2015. Reasons given for separate sleeping include snoring, restless leg syndrome, television viewing and different sleep schedules. It seems Americans are increasingly making sleep a priority. Separate bed or bedrooms can be an escape from "bed-lam".

Same bedroom or separate, a British study found the longer couples are married, the less they talk to each other. During a 1-hour meal couples who are dating talk an average of 50 minutes. Immediately after marriage talking drops to 40 minutes. After 20 years couples talk an average of 21 minutes. After 30 years it's 16 minutes and by 50 years the average married couple talk for 3 minutes during a 1-hour meal. Nevertheless, it was Bill Cosby who said, "For two people to live together day after day is unquestionably the one miracle the Vatican has overlooked".

However, instead of divorcing, some couples choose to be "permanently separated". Permanent separation has several benefits such as filing joint tax returns, being covered by the spouse's insurance and continuing a relationship with someone impossible to live with. Billionaire Warren Buffet separated from his wife in 1977, but stayed married to her until her death in 2004. Artist Willem de Kooning was separated from his wife until her death 34 years later. Jann Wenner, co-founder of the magazine Rolling Stone, separated from his wife in 1995. There's political and religious and now there seems to be marital "separatism".

Married, divorced or separated, friends extend life. Researchers reviewed 148 studies linking friendship and mortality. The studies involved more than 308,000 participants, who were followed for an average of 7.5 years, and covered social networks, perception of relationships and integration in community. According to the results, people with strong friendships reduced their odds of dying prematurely by 50%. That's the same benefit as from stopping smoking and almost twice the benefit as from physical activity - and that's regardless of age, gender, health status and cause of death. Friends help us deal with stress, encourage healthy behavior and add meaning to life. They're "lifelines".

by: Knight Pierce Hirst

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