BARGIRLS: ALL IS NOT WHAT IT SEEMS
Author: Thesigan Nadarajan
Author: Thesigan NadarajanThe author before writing this article had spent countless nights in a variety of bars with a variety of mama-sans, bargirls, bartenders, and bar-patrons in Thailand. The purpose of the nocturnal outings was to discover first-hand the perspectives, emotions, behaviors, and pulses of the bargirls environment. It is the hope of the author that this article would contribute to a little clearer understanding of the bargirl that hopefully would lead to the betterment in the outlook and treatment of bargirls. The Label Bargirl A subjective label. A bargirl can generally be described as a female who works as a hostess in a bar. There is no single job description for a bargirl as it would be dependent on many factors such as the country, culture, work environment (legal or illegal setup), clientele type, and type of services offered. The label bargirl is not a globally established label as there are other terms that are utilized in its place. Though the label bargirl is subjective, the differentiation in the type of services that a bargirl may or be expected to offer can be distinguished easily. Hostess. Bargirlswhowork purely as hostess. These types of bargirls are more focused in trying to earn commissions from the sales of alcohol, food and entertainment. Bargirls cum prostitutes. While others work as bargirls cum prostitutes, who cater sex as the direct or indirect services, as the means to earn an income either within or outside their operating establishments. It is the existence and practice of prostitution amongmany of the bargirls that have resulted in a prejudicial outlook and treatment of them by their clients and society at large. Prejudicial Outlook and Treatment What is the prevailing conception of a bargirl especially among their clientele? Men who frequently utilize the services of bargirls generally perceive them as loose sex objects who can be man-handled, fondled, and groped without protest. This is generally reinforced by the verbal, non-verbal, actions and dressings of the bargirls themselves. Most bargirls wear heavy makeup, heavily perfumed, sexy clothes that highlight their body parts like the breasts, belly, waist, buttocks, and thighs. Some are fully clothed, partially clothed or strut around in skimpy shorts and bras only. Their non-verbal communications are deliberately meant to be seductive. A normal sight is to see a group of flirty, sexy-looking bargirls sitting just outside their establishments to entice potential patrons (especially farangs the walking ATM machines). The psychology is simple; stimulate the human senses with tantalizing sexuality that promises happiness and pleasure. Thus, it is only normal that any male who accept this offer on display would enter the establishment with a mind that is filled with fantasies. But it must be noted that all this allurement is not necessarily an invitation to have sex. Touch or touch not. In a common scenario, once a client enters the establishment, he is quickly led to a seat and the beverage of his choice is offered. Then depending on the client, if he so desires, he can choose as to which bargirl he wants to sit beside him for the purpose of entertainment. Then the psychology of sales processes begins. Most seasoned bargirls know the psychology of making a client feel good and persuasively encourage their clients into purchasing alcohol, food, and cigarettes. Glasses are continuously refilled while small talk is carried on in between listless pelvic thrusting dances. It is during this period that one would begin to observe the behavior of the clients and the reactions of the bargirls. As the clients become more and more comfortable, they start getting physical with the bargirls. The author has observed that in establishments of higher end, the physical handling of bargirls are more refined compared to those of lower end ones. There are generally two types of reactions from bargirls who are being groped all over. Some bargirls react instantly to the mens groping by restraining the mens hands that explores the intimate and sensitive areas (i.e., breasts, pelvic sections or buttocks). They allow the men only to hold them externally around their waist or touch their tights, or upper backs. Other bargirls allow the clients to explore them anywhere without restriction. Some bargirls even initiated the physical groping. What happens when a bargirl restraints a client from groping them in their intimate body parts? What were the reactions of the mama-san or the owner of the establishment? What were the reactions of the clients? The author has observed a variety of reactions depending on the establishments, and the type of services expected of the bargirls. In higher-end establishments, the clients were more controlled in their behavior. If a client wanted more than alcohol, food or entertainment, the client would with the consent of the mama-san discretely leave with the bargirl (bargirl cum prostitute) to another venue. This applied also to lower end establishments. In the case where the bargirls were purely hostess and disliked the groping of the client, they just refused to serve the client without rebuke from the mama-san or the owner of the establishment. This normally ended with the client leaving the establishment sooner than was anticipated. Thus, total prejudicial outlook and treatment of all bargirls as loose sex objects is unfair. Though the bargirls used sexual seductiveness to draw the client into the establishment, it was not their (purely hostess) purpose to cater sex. Any presumption for expectation of sex was totally that of the client. In this aspect a clear distinctions should be drawn between the bargirl who is a hostess and the bargirl who is also a prostitute. It also applies to the establishment, as not all establishments cater for sex. However, it must be understood also that even in establishments that do not cater for sex, there are bargirls who prostitute outside the establishments on their own time. It is a bargirls personal decision and choice. A call for more objective outlook and treatment. The author would like to call on the readers to have a more objective outlook and treatment of bargirls whether they are purely hostess or bargirl cum prostitutes. There are several reasons for this call: - Not all bargirls are loose sex objects that carter for sex. - Even bargirls who carter for sex as prostitutes do so in many as instances because they are under duress and are caught-up in a vicious cycle of demand and supply due to human greed and lust. - Even prostitutes are human just as much as those who (clients) who use them. If clients in many countries are not penalized for soliciting the services of a prostitute, why the prostitutes should be separated for a sterner treatment? - Another perspective is that beauties and sexiness are commercialized publicly for profit in beauty pageants, beauty magazines, beauty products, beauty treatments and even in beauty salons and yet they are not looked down upon. So why a bargirl who are not prostitutes should be looked down upon if she uses her beauty and sexiness for earning an income? Why the double standards? - It also must be understood that many of the problems faced by the bargirls are due to an andocentric culture and environment that the females are objects for male satisfaction and entertainments. - In the event as it happen in many parts of Asia, if the beneficiaries of the bargirl's incomewere the parents, husbands, siblings or children, wouldthey look down on them? Ifthey do, thenthey should not be takingthe bargirl'sincome even ifthey were dying from starvation. If they do take the bargirl'sincome,than they should be protectingthe bargirlsfrom those who look down upon them. - Another perspective is that being a hostess in a bar should be considered a normal vocation just like an airline stewardess. If airline stewardesses are glamorized, why cant being a hostess in a bar receive the same treatment? Both involve beauty, charm, sexiness and practice hospitality skills. The only difference between them is one has more training and works in a plane while the other has less training and works in a bar. One is dressed professionally (decent but sexy) while the other is dressed to entice. But both sometimes encounter the similar type of drunkard clients with groping hands. Bargirls Deserve Our Respect, Support and Understanding Bargirls deserve our respect, support and understanding. They should receive the same legal protection, health and security coverage just like all of us. They should be applauded in understanding the basic psychology of making persons to feel good and closing sales in the process. About the Author:
Th. Dip; Th. B; MSCP; PHD.CP(Candidate)
1. Personal Particulars
Name: Thesigan a/l Nadarajan
Birth date: 05/03/1957
Birth Place: Malacca
Nationality: Malaysian
Race: Indian (Chindian)
Religion: Skeptical Humanist
2. Personal Interest
The author is interested in the psychological and sociological development of all persons regardless of nationality, religious, cultural, or sexual orientations. He believes in humanistic growth and development as the most important priority.
3. Contact Email: nthesigan@hotmail.com