Be A Better Mom: Follow Your Dreams!
There's no doubt about it, the love a mother feels for her children is profound
. But in this incredibly beautiful experience of motherhood, many moms also lose their identity. With so many demands on our time and energy, it is easy to see how a mom can get lost in her role of being the mother. However, it is essential for all moms to realize that by having personal goals of your own and taking active steps to follow them, you are showing your children how to follow their dreams. You are after all, a role model.
Unfortunately, the potential for a loss of your sense of self is one of the unspoken realities of motherhood that some women navigate with ease while others end up on antidepressants. As our children get older, some women lose their ambition and fall out of touch with their dreams.
What exactly is the cause of this loss of self? From the moment we find out we are pregnant, our bodies become shared and our own needs drop on the priority list. From then on, we have to think about what goes into and comes out of our body, what goes on in our heads, what comes out of our mouths... how everything we do effects someone else.
Now, here's the kicker... this entire shift in thinking happens before the baby is even born! Once the baby arrives, our thought patterns and level of stress shift into high gear. The reality is that when everything becomes about someone else, our own needs, wants and desires get lost in the shuffle. But, just as the flight attendants demonstrate on airplanes, we must remember we cannot take care of our children unless we put our own oxygen masks on first! This act of self-care is not selfish, it is necessary for own survival.
To compound this issue we are watched by others to see if we are good moms and if our kids are well behaved. Whether or not this judgment is self-imposed or a misconception is another topic all together, but the feeling that we must be good moms is very real to most (if not all) mothers.
As our own interests fall second or third in line to the duties that are required to raise our families, no one bothers to tell us that just because we are moms, we do NOT have to give up our looks, our dreams and our happiness! In fact, we are better moms if we take the time we need to focus on what makes us happy. Take time to exercise, to meet with friends, to develop a business or donate to charity if that is what you need to do to get in touch with your purpose. We need to feel good about and show love to ourselves regularly so that we can show our children how to love themselves.
Everything we do as moms reflects on our children and plays a large role on their future. Are you showing them that their dreams and passions matter or that their duties are more important than their personal fulfillment?
In my own experience, I have found that as much as I love my kids, my passion does not lie in dirty socks, grocery runs or PTA meetings. And that's okay! When I tried to focus only on my family and not pursue my own dreams, I noticed resentment, agitation and sadness set in. Now, I acknowledge that I do have ambitions outside of my family and it feels great to appreciate that part of myself rather than hide it.
I wish I could tell you that there is a fairy out there who will tap you on the head with her magical wand when it is the right time to follow your dreams, but unfortunately she doesn't exist. If you need something to trigger you to get back in touch with your purpose, go dig out that tooth fairy costume and tap yourself into action!
ACTION STEP: When you are ready to get in touch with your true passions start by releasing any feelings you have that your children are more important than your own happiness and embrace the gift that you will give your family when you decide to start accomplishing your own goals. Start paying attention to what gets you excited. Then, make a list of at least 10 things you want to have, do and be in your life. Next, create a list of at least 3 action steps you can take to achieve each of those dreams.
Throughout this process, we must remind ourselves that the more we give to ourselves while letting our children witness this process of self-love, the easier it will be for our kids to follow their own dreams and find true happiness. Now, doesn't that sound like what every mom wants for her family? Now, give yourself permission and go follow your dreams!
by: Britt Michaelian
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