Being Dumped (and Winning Your Ex Back) For Newbies

Nearly twenty years ago, I watched the premiere of the TV series Mad About You

. The female star of the show, Jamie Stemple, was upset by being dumped by her boyfriend just days before Christmas. Her boss reminds Jamie that she'd said she had intended to dump him. "But not until AFTER the holidays!" Jamie groans. I wasn't at all surprised that Mad About You went on to become a long-running series.

For us mere mortals, however, being dumped is nothing to laugh about. When your partner unexpectedly announces that he or she does not desire to carry on your relationship, it can make you feel like -- well, like garbage. And it feels even worse if you don't know the reason why.

If you're having issues with abusiveness, infidelity, or addiction, then getting dumped should not be a big surprise. But your partner's usual excuse tends to be a fuzzy "It's not you, it's me." You're left on your own, puzzled, stunned, and humiliated. But it might also leave you determined to fight back, and to attempt to get your ex back.

So you immediately begin a reunion campaign: phone calls, letters, e-mails, text messages, appeals to relatives and acquaintances. You request a pardon for every sin you committed, up to and including not picking up your dirty laundry. And you either don't leave your phone or computer in case a note from your ex comes in, or you go out in hopes of meeting up into him or her "inadvertently." But you're not getting the desired response.

Why? Because in your turbocharged emotional position, you're not seeing the forest for the trees. You're trying to transform what you think is your ex-partner's hatred back into love. You ought to be trying to transform his or her lack of concern back into anticipation. You don't win back an ex by coming on as needful and distressed - that only confirms to your ex that he or she did right by dumping you.

So how DO you win an ex back? Well, if you had been dumped due addiction or abusiveness issues -- and you resolved to overcome them in order to win your ex back -- you'd immediately look for some kind of professional help. Well, you also need help with realizing why you were dumped and with curing your interior emotional wounds. Only then can you establish whether your relationship is really salvageable. And the best way for you to take the first step on your way to recovery is with The Magic Of Making Up program. Here's why:

by: Ollye Torbora

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