Breaking The Addiction - The Pain Of Breaking Up

I've touched on the subject of breaking up so often that I feel like a broken record

every time I receive a new email from a heart broken DIVA or Boo who cant seem to let go of the good memories of their ex. Having one's heart broken not only affects us during the break up but even for a long time after the relationship has ended. When you have gotten used to having someone in your life, whether things were good or bad, it can feel like hell facing your life without them. Even when you know deep down that you're better off without him, you still crave contact with them and miss them in a way that can only be compared to an addiction-deep down you know it's wrong, but you can't seem to help yourself.

The truth is that you really do have an addiction to your ex and you must go through the withdrawal period in order to feel like a normal person again. This is why, like with any addiction, you must stop cold turkey and leave that jerk alone that broke your heart. You may feel like it's love but in actuality you were biologically addicted to the "high" the relationship caused you as your serotonin increased each time you saw or thought about your beloved. Serotonin is a feel good hormone that is release in high quantities when people fall in love. Some say that it is this hormone, not love, which causes us to irrationally make decisions concerning the relationship. If you tell yourself the truth, you will recognize that the relationship really was not "all that" to begin with and you probably should have left a long time ago. They did not deserve you and surely are not worth your river of tears.

If the break up occurred because of your own wrong doings, forgive yourself and count it as a lesson learned. It may hurt even more knowing that it was your actions or inactions that caused you to loose such a great catch but do not let this heart break go down in vain. Look at yourself in the mirror, be honest with yourself and make the necessary changes. If it is meant to be, the ex who you lost will forgive you and give you another chance. I write the last paragraph with a bit of hesitancy because I know that many of you will make excuses for the ex who walked out of your life and convinced you that it was all your fault. If they made you cry more than you laughed and treated you less than you know you deserved, then it was not your fault that the relationship ended.

The withdrawal symptoms are a necessary evil that is so uncomfortable that many go back to a hot mess of a relationship that should have never been in the first place. The relationship is over for a reason and those reasons will not disappear just because you desperately miss them. Although you have been hurt, do not allow your ex to continue to hurt you past the grave of your relationship by choosing to close your heart to future love experiences. Be thankful for the great person who is on their way into your life now that you have made room for them. It is understandable that your heart has that sinking feeling with in it right now that feels like hunger and fear all mixed up as one and multiplied by a thousand but it is important that you keep moving forward, take each day at a time and put one foot in front of the next and pretty soon you will start to feel like you have your old self back. Let go, move on and learn better so that the next relationship is the love experience you deserve!

by: Saundra Jones

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