Breakup Recovery - Four Critical Steps

Breakups hurt, and one of the painful things about them is the process of trying to put the pieces of your life back together and moving on

. The pain of the breakup and recovery is generally just as deep as the love that's lost. Once you've gotten used to having someone in your life, it's hard to move on by yourself. As difficult as it is, you must admit it's over and move ahead with your life. You can employ one of two methods to recover from a breakup. The slow method is the natural method, letting hime heal the pain. It's common knowledge that time heals all wounds, but in this case, there's a great deal of pain involved, as well as a great deal of time. By following these four simple steps, though, you can recover much more quickly from your breakup. Because it reduces the amount of pain you must go through, this speedier process is actually healthier.

Break-up Recovery Step 1: Before anything else, you must accept the breakup. Believe it or not, some people live in a state of denial for a long time after a breakup. Denial is ultimately self-destructive. You can live in the real world with the rest of humanity, and accept the fact that it's over, or you can set yourself up in some fantasy world where you don't have to accept the fact that it's over. Common sense says face reality.This step is first because you cannot concentrate on the nest steps if your mind is clouded by thoughts of denial.

Break-up Recovery Step 2: Second, another fact of life must be accepted - the relationship is over. It's even worse to accept the finality of a breakup if you're still in love. Don't keep trying to resurrect what's dead. There aren't many things you can do that will reinforce her decision. You're a man. You must accept reality and move on.

Break-up Recovery Step 3: Improve your future by vowing not to repeat the mistakes you made. It won't accomplish anything to make accusations or assign blame now. The old saying is "what doesn't kill me, makes me stronger." For instance, is there something about your personality that made her decide to break up with you? Is there something you do that turned her off, some habit or regular behavior ? You cannot lie to yourself about this, because you will be the only one convinced. Once you determine why the breakup happened, you'll be able to draw lessons from it. You'll be able to put these lessons to work in future relationships.

Break-up Recovery Step 4: The fourth step in recovering from a breakup is to take the first step in the rest of your life by making a change for the better. Self-improvement is a never-ending process, and now it's time to base that improvement on what you've learned from the breakup. If you want to be loved, be sure you really love yourself, and if there are things about yourself that are unlovable, work to improve them. At a time like this, too many people start feeling sorry for themselves and sink into depression and despair. Take the opposite approach - concentrate on being happy and keeping busy. Look into interesting hobbies you've wanted to explore, or get re-involved in an old hobby.

There's always going to be a good amount of pain involved in recovering from a breakup. These four steps, however, should help the recovery process and help you to move on with your life.

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Breakup Recovery - Four Critical Steps

By: Steve Steiner

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