British Sex Life And American Politics
I recently read an article in the newspaper saying that three-fourths of British couples were too tired at the end of the day to have sex
. Given the Brits reputation for bad teeth I'm guessing it was not because they were preoccupied with flossing and brushing their choppers that kept them from sex. Come to think of it, maybe it was the bad teeth that made them "too tired" to want to have sex.
This same article said that the British were getting so lazy that more than a third of those surveyed would not run to catch a bus. In Las Vegas, where I live, we have that handled. There are pictures of semi-naked girls on the buses so we not only run to catch them we have cars crashing all around them from people staring, which also makes it easier to catch the bus because the traffic slows down.
Back to the too tired for sex thing, we Americans have that handled too. We invented penile implants so when we're too tired for an erection the implants take care of it. And since most of our plastic surgeons are perverts the implants have the women thinking these implants are "too big to fail" so they feel obligated to "give more", as it were. Wow, the American sex life sounds strangely like the Obama administration. Well, that does make sense since the American people are definitely getting screwed and the administration is run by a bunch of dicks.
Speaking of congressmen, (at least that's what I thought of when I wrote the last sentence) it seems they have no trouble finding time or energy for sex. Of course I'm referring to their extramarital affairs. If we interviewed their wives we may find a lot more references to the "Biggest Loser" than we'd get to "Dancing with the Stars". But when a congressman meets an attractive woman (that is not his wife) his first thoughts go to "Deal or No Deal", while the woman is thinking "Are You Smarter than a Fifth Grader". Ladies, the answer is they are smarter but they have less ethics and integrity, because those are the qualifications to even run for congress.
Again, returning to the British sex life. I can just imagine a conversation a British couple may have as they crawl into bed into bed for the night (insert heavy English accent):
Man: Would you like to have sex tonight?
Woman: That depends, have you brushed your teeth?
Man: Well no, of course not.
Woman: Well, you better "pull the plug" on that idea then.
Man: That's fine, you remind me of my granny anyway.
(In case you missed it, that was a reference to Obama healthcare there. I do apologize for that one but I can't resist it, whenever I think of getting screwed I think of the Obama administration. My bad.)
All this talk about congress and the Obama administration makes me think of socialism, which, now that I think about it, goes right along with the typical congressman's ideas of sex. We should all give equally, at least the women to him. And, of course, for some congressmen that would also include young boys or anyone in a restroom stall.
In that same newspaper article about the British being too lazy to have sex it said that sex can be great exercise. Now I'm sure some of you readers are now thinking, "But, I like to work out alone." You should know that in this case "working out" with a "work out partner" is far more beneficial. But first, don't forget to brush your teeth.
by: Steve Yeich
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