Can Fathers Win Custody Of Children When Fighting A Restraining Order?

I'm going to tell you an important fact about winning child custody

, because not a lot of people believe it: Fathers win custody of their kids every day of the week.

There's some dad out there right now who's just been informed of just that outcome, maybe in your state, maybe in your home town... and you can be one of them. I've written this article to answer the direct question of "can a father win custody of his children if he is fighting a restraining order?", and to offer a bit of light at the end of the tunnel with practical suggestions about how this can be achieved. Too many fathers think that the legal case is hopeless before they even begin to mount a defense; your kids only grow up once, and they are relying on you making the right moves so you can see them do that.

The first thing you need to do is not panic. If your ex has decided to play dirty tricks during a custody battle, you don't need to lower yourself to her level with underhand tactics OR roll over and take it. You just need to be aware of your rights, and have patience that you can win in the end. With the right information, advice and planning, you can blow her legal case right out of the water (in my case, without a lawyer - because I'd had to fire him six months earlier for a mix of incompetence and the financial ruin caused by my ex-wife).

The other thing you need to do is start planning your courtroom defense now. I'm not talking about tomorrow, next week, or at a lawyer's meeting (if you choose to hire one). Right now. Go and get some paper, grab a pen and start writing down all the possible angles from which your ex might be moving with her divorce or custody tactics - is her aim to increase maintenance payments? Will she continue to allege phony abuse allegations until you're fired from your job? Or does she just want to stop you seeing your kids? If you try to understand what she wants, you're already better prepared than 90% of fathers who go into a courtroom and think that by telling the truth they'll win custody of their children.

As part of this defense, you need to start gathering evidence that backs up your claims. I've said it once and I'll say it again: Fathers win custody of their kids not by telling the truth, but by being prepared to back up the truth with evidence.

I'll give you a personal example of the sort of thing that I mean. When I was fighting a restraining order based on false abuse allegations by my ex-wife, she claimed I'd violated the restraining order by hassling her about maintenance payments on a date a few weeks earlier. But I'd prepared evidence to blow away her claims - I had a store receipt saved from two towns over which allowed me to pinpoint where I'd been on the afternoon she was supposed to have seen me, and store cameras submitted as evidence to the court proved her to have falsified the allegation. It was one of the biggest factors that influenced the judge's decision to throw out the petition for a permanent restraining order, which in turn allowed me to win custody of my children.

Fathers can influence the decision of the courts to rescind a restraining order or win custody of their kids by doing the same thing. Save e-mail communications, letters, receipts, write down the names of witnesses to any incidents - compile data on anything and everything that you think might influence the outcome of the custody case.

If you follow the tips I've outlined above, there is no reason why you can't be one of the fathers celebrating the win of child custody this month - good luck!

by: Adam J. Jenkins

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