Next week is the 10th Annual Carer's Week in the UK. The theme this year is A Life of My Own, and carers are invited to share what they need in order to have a life of their own. (I ought to just point out for US readers that when we use the term carer we're not talking about a professional, but a friend or family member looking after their loved one in some way you might use the term caregiver).
Before Carers Week starts on Monday 14th June, I want to have a quick think about why carers should have a life of their own. You may think it's obvious, but I find that isn't always the case. Sometimes people comment on my book Their Cancer Your Journey' by saying But you're asking me to be selfish!' though in fact what I am saying is that it is not selfish to take care of your own needs. So why should a carer do that and have a life of their own? Here are my suggestions, feel free to add yours as well.
To help you remember that life is not all about illness.
To give others the benefit of your company if you so desire.
To keep hold of who you are and not lose yourself in your role.
To make sure the person you are caring for is not so dependant on you emotionally that they have problems if you cannot be there.
To make you better able to cope and less likely to lose your cool.
To give you something to talk about.
To ensure that when the caring role ends there is still something left in your life.
Carers are amazing not because they have chosen this challenging role, but precisely because they haven't. And even having not chosen it, they keep going against all odds, simply because in spite of everything thrown at them they still care.