Cats Are Not Like People--Nor Do They Want to Be
Cats Are Not Like People--Nor Do They Want to Be
Let's have a look at a grey Persian cat named Jasper and his owner's Sally and Roger. They also have an English Bulldog named Humper. You guessed it, Humper humps--everyone. Doubtful Jasper would even consider doing such a disgusting thing.
Cats are sophisticated and sneaky. The truth is that packed into Jasper's walnut is enough intelligence to control the entire household.
Jasper was a birthday gift to Sally from Roger, an unbelievably cute mass of grey fur with a huge bushy tail, a flat face and large copper colored eyes that shine in the dark. Humper's response to this strange creature invading his space was less than hospitable. Humper got damn cranky, jealously protecting his turf he had to be restrained from having the cat for lunch.
The next year turned into a game of hide and seek, Jasper sneaking up on Humper for a sniff and then Humper breaking into a barking and howling fit as he chased the cat into hiding. And then one day Jasper did not run, he arched his back, hissed and smacked Humper on the nose with his claws. Humper froze, sat, stared in disbelief at the cat, and whimpered.
Jasper turned and simply strolled over to the couch, Humper's favorite napping place, jumped up and settled in. The war was over and the cat won. Humper tolerates the cat, but is aloof to any affection from Jasper who just wants to be buds and keeps trying to win Humper over by following him around and whacking the Dog playfully with his paw.
And of course Jasper is allergic to certain foods--the cheap ones available in the grocery store. Jasper is a pure bred and he can only tolerate the expensive anti-allergy foods available from the Vet at outrageous prices. He also prefers the venison, cats are very fussy and have good taste.
Jasper has a built in timer, breakfast is at 7:30 A.M and dinner is at 4:30 P.M. To make certain that he gets his breakfast on time he begins a morning ritual between 6:30 A.M. and 7:00 A.M. every morning including weekends and holidays when Sally, Roger and Humper would like to sleep in.
First comes the very loud meowing and a noisy visit to his litter box. A harsh, 'Jasper shut up', brings a few minutes of silence. The meowing resumes, the cat jumps onto the bed and walks on Roger. Purring loudly he kneads Roger's lower abdomen putting pressure on Roger's full bladder, the end of his tail swooping Roger's face. When he thinks he has annoyed Roger enough he then kneads Sally. If this does not get results he gets back on Roger's chest and lies down nose to nose purring like a two cycle motor.
By this time everyone is awake and thinking they might as well get up. Jasper's breakfast is severed at 7:30 A.M.--everyone is up except Humper who is now snoring loudly curled up on Roger and Sally's bed.
The dinner ritual starts between 3:30 and 4:00 P.M., but the tactic is different. Jasper stares wide eyed at Sally. He makes sure he is always sitting in a spot where Sally cannot miss him, and then of course there is the meowing. If he is really impatient he will use the carpet or a couch as a scratching post. This usually gets an immediate reaction from Sally and dinner is served on or before 4:30 P.M.
Jasper is an indoor cat, but Sally and Roger made the mistake of letting him out in the back yard under supervision. Cats are a creature of habits that they really like, and Jasper loves to be outside on any nice day. His method of choice to get what he wants is annoyance. If he wants to be outside he will stare at Sally or Roger and meow repeatedly until someone drops what they are doing and lets him out just to shut him up.
Cats are always kings of their own particular jungle home, to get their way they will be cute, cranky or demanding, whatever it takes. There is lots of conniving going on in that walnut.
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