Charlie Sheen and Bi-Polar Disorder
Charlie Sheen and Bi-Polar Disorder
Charlie Sheen and Bi-Polar Disorder
This post is for people with Bi-Polar disorder who want to stop hurting themselves and others, and for the loved ones close to them. Please let me know what you think.
I finally took a look atsome of the Charlie Sheen videos everyone has been talking about. Pretty sad and shocking but all a part of life. This post is about my experience with Bi-Polar disorder, my own depression, and finding that middle ground again.
This disorder especially the mania isintelligent, deceptive, and has a lot of energy. I respect it. It's like a wild snake in the grass, difficult to stop and put your finger on. When you get close it turns on you, just to see how you react. Then it remembers how much further to push you next time. When a loved one is manic be on your toes ready to exercise firm boundaries, or you'll be in shock and emotionally run over before you realized what happened. It amazes me just how much manic cycles overrun a person's consciousness. Seeing the Charlie Sheen videos and interacting with Bi-Polar people, when the mania hits it's like there's a whole other energy behind their eyes using their body to communicate. But there is a way out and things you can do.
When we're depressed most of us know there's a problem. When we're manic we don't.To understand their depression is created from feeling great, is tricky. Communication with a manic person is a one-way street. They are unable to listen (take in information), because their mind is flooded with thoughts and their brain is flooded with chemicals. Mentally they're flying 90 miles an hour, until they hit a wall. And if the damage is big enough, they will cry, and become depressed again.
I see this disorder as the perfect balance between two extremes. My only question to any person suffering from it is, "How badly do you really want to get better?" I see three keys to stepping away from Bi-Polar behavior. Three breakthroughs, one in each phase of the disease; mania, depression, and what I call middle ground personality.'
Manic Phase & The Real Time Technique
When you are manic and a loved one tries to sensibly put the brakes on you, and you say, "I don't care", that's the moment you can take your life back, if you say to yourself, "Holy shit, I'm manic!" Now just for a moment, the wild snake in the grass becomes a deer in headlights. Next say to your loved one, "I want to listen to you. Just give me a few minutes." This will stun the snake inside of you for another minute. Then, follow these steps:
1.Sit down & locate tension or anxiety in your body -place your hand on it, and for 3 minutes begin taking calm deep breaths into it. Let the snake get drunk on oxygen.
2.For 2 minutes silently say once per breath, "I'm okay", as you breathe -This eases the subconscious issues fueling your Bi-Polar disorder and further calms your body.
3.For the final minute silently say, "I'm ready to listen to what (insert your loved one's name here) has to say."-Continue breathing into the tension until your mind and body are calm.
4.Begin listening to what the person has to say -Do not say anything. True listening happens when you are not talking or thinking thoughts, you are absorbing (taking in) what the person is saying.
This is the goal.If you learn to truly listen to someone other then yourself, you've learned how to throw a monkey wrench into your manic cycle. Congratulations. This is one breakthrough. How far you take it is up to you. I recommend getting to know yourself much deeper.
Click Here to Download The Real-Time Technique
Use the real-time technique 3 times, once with manic episodes in mind, once with depressed episodes in mind, and once for everyday stress. Practicing Step 2 of Real-Time Technique twice a day with the most traumatic memory in mind that surfaced from the assessments will help balance the energy fueling the disorder. When those memories begin to resolve (no longer trigger tension in your body when they come to mind) do more assessments to go deeper and resolve more. Being able to check yourself when you are flying 90 miles an hour is a key to mastering your mania.
Depression Phase
In the Depression Phase it's always a little easier to listen to new ideas. The pain is so great, there's usually some part of you that wants to feel better. This is the time you want to increase your awareness of your Bi-Polar behavior patterns and create a plan to manage your mania.
I see depression as a blanket that covers an entire person and drains their will to live. When depressed we can't see through the blanket, all we feel is sadness and despair. From my own inner experience with depression two things helped. One, the quiet voice in the back of my mind that softly repeated, "I'm okay", every few minutes amongst a flood of gut wrenching tears and sadness that was uncontrollably erupting from what seemed to be endless deep layers from within my heart. And the second thing that helped me break away from depression, and this is very important, is Action.
Write About Your Pain.
The breakthrough in the Depression Phase can occur if you choose to take action in the lowest point of your depression. Pull the blanket off, get out of bed, and write about your pain. Most importantly include what routine manic behaviors and decisions brought you to this place of great pain. Talk to your friends, loved ones, and get professional help. Highlight what you vow you are not going to do again and other profound statements within your writings. Give a copy to a loved one. Tell them they may have to recite your own quotes to you, to help you remember the truth the next time mania tries to take you over. Follow these steps:
1.Make sure your writings create a clear Cause and Effect relationship between your manic actions and your painful depression.You can do this by answering questions like, "What were my actions that brought me to this much pain?" "Why did I do that?" "What repeating thoughts drove my actions?" "Which emotions fueled them?" When you introspect and arrive at a conclusion on your own, your realizations have a greater impact on your everyday life, because they came from within you. The above questions can lead you to realize how manic decisions caused your depression. And boiled down a little further, how mania causes you pain.
2.Do Step 2 (C) of the Real-Time Technique with the affirmation-"My mania causes me pain", instead of saying, "I'm okay now." This will reinforce the connection in your brain that mania does cause you pain.
3.Create a list of your manic behaviors and your depressed behaviors.Manic behaviors could include;not taking medication, excessive alcohol/drug/cigarette use, gambling, arguing, driving too fast, being out late, out of character sexual activity, talking to much, over eating, etc. Depressed behaviors could include; not getting out of bed, not showering, not eating, not leaving the house, not talking with people, etc.
4.Ask a loved one to check your list for completeness.Your Bi-Polar Behavior List should be hanging in places you can see it and shrunken and placed in your wallet. These behaviors can be used as beacons of light back to sanity, back to the middle ground personality ~ if you're ready.
5.Make reminder cards to correct your manic and depressed behaviors.Each card has a title naming the behavior and states a past consequence that caused you pain below it. For example a reminder card might read, "Take Meds Every Day', and below that it might say, "or lose another relationship and end up sad and alone." Place each reminder card where the behavior is most likely to occur. For example the above mentioned card might go next to the medicine cabinet. If over eating is the issue maybe it's placed on the refrigerator.
Setting up your environment for success is important but you hold the key inside yourself. Now that your behaviors are outlined in front of you, a bell should ring ding, ding, ding, every time you have an urge for a Bi-Polar Behavior. Your choice to break free in the moment is where the miracles happen in the chemicals in your brain.
Middle Ground Personality Phase
This brings us to the Middle Ground Personality Phase. The phase that loved ones wait for and get so happy to finally get the real person back. Of course this only lasts until the person becomes manic again. This phase is very important for the Bi-Polar person to build deep self awareness and maintain focus on what they truly want in life. Making sure their actions support that single most important desire. The breakthrough in this phase has to do with maintaining healthy thoughts and actions. It comes when the person has manic or depressed thoughts and they decide to take control by not letting those thoughts transfer into manic or depressed actions. During this phase it's important to build mind muscle to discover the difference between you and your thoughts. Try this right now. Silence your mind and listen to the first thought you have. Are you the thing that observes thoughts, or are you the actual thought? Learning how not to identify with the thoughts that reek havoc in your life will help create what you want in life (if you know what you want).
Tips for loved ones:
Create and exercise healthy boundaries so you are not pulled on an emotional rollercoaster. Think about the best way for you to handle each of their behaviors.
Understand their cycling trends. Is there a pattern? Are they usually depressed in the winter and manic in the fall?
See them for what they are. They only get better when they are 110% committed to getting better. Letting them in deep enough to create havoc in your life should be your conscious choice.
In closing, I view Bi-Polar Disorder as a disease in the personality just as cancer is a disease in the body. It must be taken seriously by everyone, especially the person walking around with it, when they are manic. They say Bi-Polar Disorder comes from a chemical imbalance in the brain. That's very observant. But I ask, "What does that come from?"
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