Cheating Spouse: How to Find Out

Author: David Sherva

Author: David Sherva

Do you have a feeling in your gut thats something wrong in your relationship? That maybe, just maybe, your partners being unfaithful? If you do, then you have a decision to make and several options to choose from. First, think about how sure you are of their infidelity. If you arent sure at all, then option 1 confronting them right now, without wasting any time is completely out of the question. Doing so could ruin the relationship because itd highlight, rightly or wrongly, that you dont trust your partner. The second option: ignore your suspicions, assume theyre unfounded and that they always will be, that nothings going on, and continue as normal. This options one many people take, either to avoid being confronted with an ugly truth that their lovers doing some extra loving behind their backs or because they fear theyre being unfair to their partners by being suspicious of them and doubtful of their devotedness. Third option: do something to help eradicate your suspicions find out either way whats going on, if your partners cheating on you or if theyre being faithful. Okay, lets assume option three is the one for you. You want to find out the truth and dont want to simply ignore your gut instinct and continue on as normal. What methods of investigation, ways of discovering the facts, are there at your disposal? 1. The simplest way (often considered the first step), and something you might have already begun doing, is looking for obvious signs of potential betrayal. Your partner smells of a fragrance, perfume or after-shave you dont recognize. Theyve been leaving the house for work half an hour earlier than theyve ever done before, for no apparent reason. They dont seem to enjoy sex with you as they used to, or choose to avoid it completely whenever they can. Keep an eye out for these surface signs of potential infidelity in a way, looking for them and recording them in your mind or on paper can be considered harmless, its free information there to be noticedif only youll look. 2. After the obvious potential signs of cheating dry up, or when you feel youre at a dead end looking for and analyzing them, more forthright, headstrong action may be called for. Some people, at this point, reach straight for the Yellow Pages, thumbing right to the private investigator section. Thats one option, sure, but there are things you can do yourself before calling in a third party. First, you could try setting a trap. It may sound a little primeval, like catching a wild animal, but really its more like a test. These tests can take many forms. For example, arrange a trip, say youre going away for a couple days to visit your folks, or friends, and use that time to keep track of some of the things your partner does. You dont necessarily need to sit outside in the car with a pair of binoculars 24/7, just pay attention to key times when your partner would if you were home do certain things, like leave the house for work, come home, etc. Youd be surprised how many cheaters embrace these rare, private opportunities to further their affairs and indulge in some extra-marital relations. There are also subtler ways of testing your partners fidelity and faithfulness. One of thems called the gossip test. It involves bringing up the topic of cheating using a fictional third party, such as one of your work colleagues or friends. Mention, without hinting at your suspicion of them in the slightest, that your friend (or whoever youve chosen to use for this test) confided in you that theyre cheating on their partner. Most people are, to some degree or another even if its just to maintain conversation interested in a little gossip, especially if it involves a subject as juicy as infidelity. But when cheaters hear the topic of cheating brought up, they tend to silently panic a rush of nerves sweeps their consciousness. Have they been rumbled? Is this a test? Am I reacting like a non-cheater would to this kind of chat? Keep a close watch on how YOUR partner reactsit could provide a telling insight into their current state of mind, how they feel about cheating, and whether or not when you boil it right down you can trust them to not cheat on you.About the Author:

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