Christian Marriage Help: Five Signs Your Marriage Has Healthy Submission

Are you looking for Christian marriage help having to do with submission

? Ephesians 5:22 tells wives to submit to their husbands. It sounds fairly straightforward, but there are marriages that have unhealthy submission that is damaging to the wife and the marriage relationship. Here are five signs that your marriage has healthy submission:

Your husband asks you what you think about things and considers your input as important as his own. Marriage is a partnership. It involves two people, not one, who are joined into a sacred union. Husbands are not to forget that their wives are individuals whose feelings, thoughts, opinions, and needs are as important as their own. Husbands are admonished to love their wives as they love and care for themselves and when they do, they will care about their wives' input when making decisions and consider it equal to their own (Ephesians 5:28-29).

Your husband will not choose to do something that he knows hurts you or harms you. "Love does no harm to its neighbor" (Romans 13:10, NIV) and a husband who loves will not want to do what he knows hurts his wife. Husbands are admonished to be kind to their wives and to consider them as the weaker partner (1 Peter 3:7). Women are not weaker in character, ability, nor in their contribution to the marriage; however, they are usually more emotionally sensitive and men must purposefully guard themselves as to not be harsh in the treatment of their wives and in the way they respond to them.

Your husband does not use submission to shut you down or control you. Submission is not meant as a tool to control wives or to shut them down. Men who use it to control are not acting in love. Men who use it to threaten and as a tool to get their way are also not acting in love. Your husband should not demand submission from you or blame you for marital problems because you aren't submissive enough.

Your husband also submits to you. Ephesians 5:21 tells us to submit to one another; this means husbands to their wives at times too. Leaders know that they must be a part of a team and not be better than their teammates. A husband and wife are a team. Two become one and it requires give and take to make it work. Healthy submission involves mutual sacrifice from both partners.

You feel loved and cared for. The Apostle Paul describes marriage as a profound mystery where two become one flesh as a symbol of Christ and the Church (Ephesians 5:31-33). Therefore, the husband should love his wife as Christ loves the church. If the marriage is as God intended, the wife will be loved by her husband and feel cared for and nourished.

A marriage with healthy submission works because the partnership creates an atmosphere of mutual giving, cooperation, nurture, safety, mutual respect, and love. If your marriage has these five things, it is healthy; if it does not, then your submission is unhealthy.

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by: Karla Downing

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