Codependent Relationships
Codependence is a term that has been used extensively to describe some of the common character traits found in the partners of addicts
. These tendencies can also be found in partners who are involved in relationships with an unhealthy relationship dynamic, such as emotionally abusive relationships.
Codependent simply means that you depend too much on your partner emotionally. For her, this may mean that she relies on you for all her emotional needs, and "can't live without you." For him, it may mean he feels too responsible for her, always catering to her demands, and never asserting himself for fear of hurting her.
You see needs exist because an individual has stopped growing at some point in their lives. As a result they are not "whole" individuals and therefore have "needs". The opposite of being whole implies "lacking" that which makes one feel whole. Lack of course translates into need!
You either take the consequences for his behavior on yourself, or help him or her avoid them altogether. If your partner is hungover, you call in sick to work for him or her. If your partner doesn't meet his or her obligations, you step in to complete the work.
They have a tendency to be the center of attention. They are also clingy and needy. They are in constant demand of getting love, attention, validation and approval. But they are angry, blaming others for their actions, violent, critical, irritable, and/or emotionally unstable.
Any man with a high level of self-esteem and healthy attitude towards relationships would not tolerate such a relationship. He'd either take action to stop the pattern, or simply leave. Men who get stuck in a codependent relationship, on the other hand, end up pursuing an endless pattern of trying to please their partner, and feeling frustrated when their desire for freedom conflicts with their partners need for rigid conformity to her needy patterns of behavior.
These are just some of the signs that are easiest to spot from the man's point of you view. If you feel that you may be in a codependent relationship, or you feel as if you're trapped and there's no way out, most like. Being in a codependent relationship makes for a stressful and unhappy lifestyle.
Truth is the pursuit of what is right. It is based on a fundamental understanding of the rule of law and fairness. When a person chooses truth as his or her sole basis of orientation, they are prone to legalism. Legalism kills relationships. No doubt truth is important, but no one is perfect.
While a beautiful and romantic notion, this is a mindset that, when taken to an extreme, is very self destructive. While in most good relationships the partners value each other, there is no law that says you should stop thinking about yourself.
A codependent person would feel trapped or obligated to stay in a relationship no matter what damage was committed to themselves or others by an abusive partner. Abuse means financial, emotional, physical or sexual abuse.
by: Alfred Patrick
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