Communicate And Connect Physically

I want to teach you something that I learned a while back on affirmation

. Don"t get into generalizations when you affirm somebody. Don"t say, "You are a great worker around here." What does that mean? Say, "You are a great worker because you bring such great creativity to the table and since you have been leading this work team you have taken our corporation to another level." Don"t just say, "Honey I love you, you are so special." That is fine and dandy. But be specific about it. "You are so other-centered. You take care of me. You serve me. You help me especially when you take out the trash without me asking."

Also, communicate and connect physically. Read the gospels. Jesus didn"t have to touch the people he healed. He didn"t have to touch those with leprosy. He did not have to touch those who were blind. He didn"t have to touch the children. But Jesus knew the power of an appropriate touch. There is some force in touching someone appropriately. The Bible is not telling you to become touchy-feely "" appropriate touch.

Now let"s talk about another aspect of communication that is a critical component in the process. This is not talked about you or discussed very much. Education does not teach it. IQ test and aptitude tests do not measure it, the corporate world rarely champions it, technology takes away from it, but here it is. Listening. The Bible talks on and on about the art of listening.

A lot of people think that if they are listening and someone else is talking it means that they are passive and the other person is aggressive. No it doesn"t. Both should be aggressive. Both should be active. How active a listener are you? I am going to list some categories of listeners. The first is someone you probably know, someone call the Promoter. Promoters kind of make eye contact when they are talking to you but they are so thinking about what they are going to say next that they don"t hear you. Everything revolves around them.

Ed Young tells us that two months ago I spent a block of time with a Promoter. This guy was unbelievable. He had a PhD in talking about himself. Finally I got so tired of it that I started playing a game with him. I began to just bring up any subject, like aluminum siding, and sure enough he would bring that subject back to himself. When I was talking, I knew he wanted me to shut up so that he could talk about himself. He kind of messed up the entire session. How many times do you mention the word I in conversation? How good a listener are you? When the talker pauses do you just jump in and begin to talk about yourself? Do we have any Promoters in the house?

by: The Sexperiment

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