Cooling Off An Angry Co-worker

First of all, never utter the works "Don't be angry"

. You should instead encourage the individual to tell you all about what's angering him. Without interrupting, without judging and without taking a position, you listen and reflect back to him how he's feeling and why he's feeling that way. By empathizing, by letting the other person know you're heard him. You may lead him to a non-angry state.

At that point, explain in as much detail as possible why you think his unsatisfactory condition exists. Get his idea on how to cope with the situation and then offer your own ideas. Discuss ways to keep him from getting angry about similar matters in the future...When trying to work with hostile colleagues, keep in mind that their self-esteem may be in the dumps... Compliment them whenever possible. Avoid arguing with them, even though that's often what they want.

Sometimes the challenge is preventing an exchange from escalating into anger. Here's a real-life workplace story.>A fellow we'll call Sam is bragging to co-workers that he was able to sniff out the details of a colleague's raise in salary... Sam was able to do it because he made a point of becoming friendly with the person in charge of confidential personnel information.

As Sam tells you the story, it suddenly dawns on you that he would think nothing of snooping around in your confidential personnel files - in fact he probably has.

What do you do?

You talk directly to Sam...In a nonconfrontational manner; you register your disapproval... "Sam" you could say, my thought is that those records were confidential and I would never want you to look in mine. My expectation is that you will only do that if you have my permission. I would be offended if I found you trying to check out my salary.

by: Obadiea

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