Couples Counseling Can Help You And Your Spouse Save Your Marriage After Infidelity

In an ideal world they might not be needed, but as it is

, couples counseling practitioners are in high demand. In that city and elsewhere, troubled marriages are an all-too frequent circumstance. A leading culprit in struggling unions is cheating. Particularly these days, when most people are on Facebook or engaging in some kind of online interaction, putting more importance on a virtual relationship than one does into their marriage is a growing reality. Infidelity, however, doesn't have to spell the end of a married relationship. Whether that's the ideal approach or not, relationship therapy can help heal the wound or allow a couple to part as respectfully and cordially as possible.

One statistic frequently tossed about is that 50% of all marriages in the united states end in divorce. While this is accurate in general, we have to examine other factors like age and whether it's a first, second or third marriage. For example, only 5-6% of marriages between people aged 35 to 39 end in divorce when compared with 35-40% of marriages when the people are 20 to 24 years old.

Social networking is a major factor in this high rate, particularly for younger people. It's easy to drive a wedge between a couple when there are numerous comforting and supportive (virtual) buddies to be made. This is not to criticize social media sites, but to emphasize the importance of building and sustaining trust and communication within a marital partnership. A counselor can help with this.

Infidelity can destroy a marriage in addition to masking other potentially concealed issues hiding in a person's psyche. Down the road, the partner who was cheated on may feel angry, hurt, depressed, vengeful, etc. The person may decide to attempt to save the marriage or may want to end it. In either case, couples counseling helps couples sort out the issues and ease the transition.

When coping with infidelity, a couples counselor is better than an individual therapist or psychiatrist. They are specifically qualified to fully explore the problems that lead people to cheat rather than just skimming the surface. Relationship counseling functions in stages:

Throughout the trauma stage, the betrayed partner and the offender experience a whirlwind of feelings and perhaps physical symptoms of depression

Discovering and speaking about what led to the affair is the next stage. It's still emotional and psychologically stressful, but both partners are able to speak more clearly

Once the issues are identified, working on them is the following and potentially lengthiest period of therapy. Feelings are more controllable, and this is where couples decide to work on the marriage to save it or end it peacefully

Although it depends on the couple, this process often lasts as many as two years. If both partners involved want to save the marriage, the time commitment involved is a minimal price to pay. Relationships can be saved after adultery, but this takes communication, complete honesty, and a good deal of hard work. While restoring a marriage after infidelity is one aspect of a counselor's work, relationship counseling can benefit strong marriages as well. In a healthy marriage, each spouse knows how to listen and effectively defuse turmoil, and understands and values their spouse's feelings and opinions. By helping reinforce these positives, a marriage can only grow stronger.

Locating a recognized, specially trained relationship or couples counselor might take a little research, but they're out there. Feeling at ease with the therapist is incredibly important, so select wisely. It just may be the smartest choice you ever make.

by: Stephen Daniels

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