Cry Me A River Senator Chris Dodd

Author: Nui Kahuna

Author: Nui Kahuna

Just finished reading a tear jerking piece about Democratic Senators who are going to retire rather than face re-election fights for the first time in their lives. You may already know that some of these inglorious bastards couldnt get elected Dogcatcher in their home states after blindly voting for whatever the Obamessiah had on his socialist agenda, including the soon to be catastrophic health care reform. But before they go, theyll still have the time and inclination to pass cap and trade, a piece of legislation even more heinous than the alleged health care reform. Todays story was accompanied by a photo of the young daughter of Chris Dodd comforting her father after he delivered a self serving speech about how it was time to ride off into the sunset. (To a mansion he purchased after getting a sweetheart loan from the now defunct Countrywide Mortgage.) Dodd was running behind Linda McMahon, daughter of the Wrassler, for gods sake. The Hartford Courier called him a SLEAZEBALL in a newspaper headline. And anybody who has lived in this area knows that he is also a drunk, and one of the towns elite abusers. But being a staunch liberal buys a lot of protection here, and that certainly doesnt look like its going to change anytime soon. Dorgan of North Dakota was also running behind many a 4H club prize pig, and his political life expectancy was about the same. The voters put him on the scale, took note of his dead weight, and said he looked like he would make some good head cheese. Blanche Lincoln is in trouble in Clintonia, Harry Reid is as good as dead in Nevada, and we could only hope more of theseidiots were up for election this year. Ben Nelson is a dead man walking in Nebraska whenever he comes up. Unfortunately for us, Al Franken will be around for another 5 years, the gift of the old commies from Minnesota. Franken, who failed at everything else he ever did, turned to the government for a job, and got his wish. While the journalists pontificate on how long gun toting NBA players should be suspended, the political elites ignore our national security, give foreign terrorists Miranda rights and attorneys, and bow to Arab kings. Personally, I dontcare about Gilbert Arenas storing his guns at work, but I do care that the borders are still wide open, and that I will have to pay health care costs for every Tom, Dick, and Harry that walks across the river. And I care that Obama wants to turn us into Kenya. (Where he was born.) Call me any name you want. (I prefer monochromatic tea bagger, coined by the tall, leggy, dumb blonde, Chris (Tingle) Matthews, who has an orgasm whenever the Obamessiah speaks.) You can shorten it to the Big MTB on the street. What Id really like is to walk in to these peoples inner sanctums in my BVDs and boots, (a very hip look), and give them some volts from Double Trouble, (about 1.2 million of them), and ask them very gently about their votes on certain issues. Then I would persuade them to cast their vote for what the people really want. Then I would have some pictures taken of me and the Senator in question. (For the fashion mags, of course.) I think a picture of Chris Dodds face about 3 seconds in to a good jolt would make a marvelous cover. I just havent figured out who would have to do the cleanup on Aisle 3. And I wouldnt want to hit him on Bean Soup day, that could make Katrina look like a heavy wind. Things are fairly calm here right now. Severe cold puts a damper on crime, but you can expect things to pick up shortly as Fat Al is scheduled to bring his Hot Air Express into the area shortly.About the Author:

Unless you want dangerous criminal mooks to attack, rob, and maybe even kill you or your loved ones, buy pepper spray and a stun gun.

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