Discover Four Good Steps To Save Your Marriage
Discover Four Good Steps To Save Your Marriage
If your marriage is stuck in a rut or you are at the brink of divorce then you must be wondering if there are any steps to save marriage. It is sad that divorce seems to have become the norm among couples today, but if you are determined to save your marriage, then you need all the help you can get to beat the odds.
Check out www.savingmarriagesnow.blogspot.com for some surprisingly simple techniques that will help put the zing back into your marriage.
Here are four simple steps to save your marriage. I mean simple though not easy steps that will set you on the right path towards winning your spouse again and saving your marriage from destruction.
1) Quit blaming your spouse. Criticizing your spouse or your self will only do more harm than good and will not help you save your marriage. This is the first step to save your marriage because marriages get frozen into a pattern of blame that immobilizes any prospect of progress. Instead, it kills any ambition or motivation your partner may have left to preserve your marriage.
Accusations are our way of avoiding to face ourselves. It is much easier to shift the blame on someone else than it is to accept our fault. But in marriage, you can just as easily turn that accusing finger on yourself and place the blame there, saying "it's all my fault." This is a great beginning step to save your marriage.
Unfortunately, blame feels good in the short-term, but in the long-term, it prevents any transformation. So, even if you can make a long list of why you or your spouse should be blamed, forget it. Even if that list is authentic, it will not help you put your marriage back together. Blame is the fuel of divorces and not a good step to save your marriage.
2) Admit your faults and take responsibility for your part in break-down of the marriage. Look for a way to bring about a positive change. Decide you can do something. Change always begins with one person who wants to see a change and make a difference. Understand that taking responsibility is not the same as taking the blame (see above) and is a positive step to save your marriage.
Instead, being responsible is saying "regardless of who is at fault, there are some things I can do differently, and I am going to do them." What buttons do you allow your spouse to push? What buttons do you push with your spouse? Deciding not to allow those buttons to be pushed and stop pushing the buttons is a commendable step to save your marriage.
What amazes me is that most people know what they should be doing or not doing to save their marriage. But it is difficult to move in that direction. Don't be caught in that. Decide that you will take valuable steps to save your marriage.
3) Enlist the help of a professional marriage counselor. If others have been helped, you can be, too. Experts with a great deal more perspective and experience can be a real help in these situations. Do your research and divide the useless from the useful, then take advantage of the useful.
Don't assume that your situation is so different from every other situation. The story may change for every couple, but the dynamics are the same.
4) Take action. If you do nothing or take a misstep, you will only do more harm to your marriage. It is too easy to get stupefied by the situation. Therapists often talk about "analysis paralysis." This occurs when people get so caught up in their churning thoughts and attempts to "figure things out" that they never take crucial steps to save their marriage.
Simply understanding the cause of the problem is not enough what is causing the problem. You must then take the necessary steps to save your marriage on a daily basis. Don't be deceived to think that your problem will resolve itself if you can just understand it. That simply does not happen. You must take pivotal steps to save your marriage if you want the problem solved.
Can your marriage be saved? Following these suggestions will give you infinitely more opportunity to save your marriage than if you do nothing. It takes two to build a marriage but only one to person can wreck it. You can only do your part, but many times, that is enough. Resolve not to ask the question but to begin to act and take vital steps to save your marriage.
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