Do You Triangulate Your Relationships?

Do You Triangulate Your Relationships?

Do You Triangulate Your Relationships?

One common mistake in most people's relationship-building efforts is that they do not confirm, authenticate, ornegate the critical assumptions that they make. You don't want to walk into a meeting, or any situation, with irrelevant, wrong, or outdated information.

I am embarrassed to admit that during a recent visit with a couple of executives, I was politely taken aside and coached that the executive who referred me to them did not leave under the best circumstances and that the mention of his name in the future could be detrimental to my efforts.

So that they don't find themselves in similar situations, we coach clients to do what we call triangulation.

Identify two or three independent sources that have a vested interest in gaining access or working with the same individual that you do. Double-check your information and the key assumptions that you're making about your relationship-development efforts. Is this person still in charge of this project? Is this person responsible for this engagement? Is this person physically based out of this office? I have heard nightmare stories of people getting on a plane for a meeting in New York only to find that the person they are meeting with changed jobs recently and is completely irrelevant to the critical opportunities at hand.

Triangulate realms of responsibilities. What is this person's real clout? What projects is he involved in? How many people are on this person's team? If this relationship is important to you, it is critical to do some research in advance to find other trusted sources that this individual works with.

A recent survey polled 100,000 executives about the best way to create access both inside and outside the organization. The overwhelming response over 85 percent was "through a trusted source." That source could be a very viable lieutenant who works with them and knows you and can recommend you, or it can be an outside adviser such as an accountant, lawyer, or consultant whom this individual has worked with who can likewise recommend you. Triangulation can also help you understand who a firm's trusted sources are. Who are their advisers? Who works with them, in what capacity, and how can you become an asset to them? Knowing this enables you to more effectively customize your presentation and add value to the individual with whom you are trying to work with.

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