We often worry that other people think we are fat, when in fact they are not bothered one way or the other. The result of this belief though makes us self-conscious and feel that we ought to lose weight in order to meet the expectations of other people. And when we fail, we feel we have let them down, as well as feeling that we have failed ourselves.
Recent research sought to examine the role women's husbands may play in determining their body satisfaction. 172 (mean age = 37.53 years) European American women were assessed (using the Body Figure Rating Scale) for their own body satisfaction, their perceptions of their husbands' satisfaction with their bodies, and their husbands' actual satisfaction with their bodies. The women's weight status was assessed using body mass index (BMI). Results indicated that wives were much more dissatisfied with their bodies than were their husbands and that wives thought their husbands were much more dissatisfied with their bodies than the husbands actually were.
Another result of the study suggested that the wives' BMI didn't affect their husband's satisfaction with their wives bodies nearly as much as the women themselves. They were much more concerned about their own feelings ofbeing fat and felt their husbands shared this concern.
What can we make of this? Women as a whole are pretty tough on themselves in relation to their weight and shape. We tend to project this dissatisfaction onto other people and then imagine them thinking hurtful thoughts. It is another way of beating ourselves up.
If you are overweight, it is a great idea to lose weight. But do it for the good of your health, rather than to achieve some imaginary goal of pleasing someone else. Come and see me at my clinic in Glasgow.