Does Anger Live Inside All of Us?

Anger lives inside all of us

Anger lives inside all of us. For some of us anger is the only way we express our needs when we get upset. Anger is usually a response to some other feeling or emotion we are having. Really give it some thought. Give some thought to the last moment you were really angry. Were you upset because someone minimized your feelings? Perhaps it was because you felt blamed or were minimized? Anger is usually a secondary response on the "emotional food chain". There is usually some other emotion that precedes it. Learning to understand our internal experience that get masked by anger is the first way to understand how we convey our unmet needs more appropriately.

Taking a class in anger management can be really helpful. Anger management classes are for anyone who feels like they need to improve coping skills. Anger management classes are used by human resources, managers, law offices, school personal, families and volunteer. Most quality anger management classes teach skills that many of us just don't learn in school or in life. You will learn better ways of talking so that your true feelings and needs get expressed.

Most anger management classes teach skills in communication. Learning to be assertive will help get your feeling, needs, and mood expressed in the most appropriate way. When we speak assertively, we do it in a reasonable tone, we don't use profanity, we make good visual contact, and we feel good about ourselves. The opposite of being assertive is being aggressive, passive-aggressive or just passive.

Most anger control programs also teach skills in increasing our emotional intelligence. When we increase our empathy we are better able understand the feelings other people might be experiencing. Becoming more emotionally tuned in gives us the ability to not get as frustrated with others and have better insight into our own feelings. Many anger management classes teach these skills.

The bottom line is, don't get caught in the trap that anger sets for us. Anger is an emotion that can be understood. Bad behavior can be relearned with more positive and appropriate behaviors. The more you can understand about your own emotions the quicker you will be able to do something about it. most people allow anger to over take them in a fit of rage. In many cases anger has ruined lives by damaging relationships and dissolving partnerships. Acquiring skills in an anger management program could improve your life for the better. Enroll in a course and try it out. Getting the help you need could save you more than realize. If you can't find a local class, consider a quality online anger management class as well.

Does Anger Live Inside All of Us?

By: Ari Novick, Ph.D.

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