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Does Your Marriage Need a Break? Why a Separation May Save Your Relationship

Does Your Marriage Need a Break? Why a Separation May Save Your Relationship


Does your marriage need a break? It certainly feels as though it does some days, doesn't it? You and your spouse certainly aren't the same two loving and forgiving souls you were on your wedding day. Now you argue incessantly over the smallest of issues and you have pushed intimacy to the back burner in favour of tending to your careers and paying the bills. In essence, your relationship is a mere shell of what it used to be. Are you truly happy living like this? Do you long for the days when you and your spouse couldn't wait to see each other after work? There is a way to get back those feelings of breathless anticipation and undying devotion. Surprisingly, a separation may just be the way to do it.

When you're thinking about the future of your marriage you must admit that it's hard to picture it the way it is now. If you and your spouse continue down the same path you're heading, you'll end up in a place where you no longer speak to each other. All those small conflicts take their toll on a marriage and eventually there will be so much resentment that the love that is still there won't find its way to the surface. That's why it can be so helpful to take a short break from one another. If the idea of a trial separation terrifies you, consider the fact that many couples who decide to do it end up back together, happier and more committed than ever.

When you are seriously considering separation to save your marriage there should be a few ground rules for you and your spouse to follow. If you have children, it's wise to sit down with them as a united couple to speak to them about why one of you is moving out. Be clear about the decision and how it will impact them. Ensure they know that it's not because of anything they did or didn't do.


Talk to your spouse frequently after you two have made the move to separate. Use the time apart to really consider what it is you want from your own future and what you expect from the relationship. It's not uncommon for a couple to notice a change right away in how they interact with one another after they've separated. Suddenly, all the hostility and anger is replaced with a sense of missing one another and longing.

Some time apart may be the prescription for your ailing marriage. If the two of you can have a sense of life without one another it may help you to appreciate each other that much more. Once this happens the marriage will have a stronger foundation and you'll both be committed to making it work.
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