Don't Let Fear Keep You From Meeting Exciting Women!
Let's understand one thing - before you ask her out
, you've got to meet and talk with her. If you can't do that, you're not going to be able to ask her out - and then how can you have a good date with her? Approach anxiety is landing in the way of your happiness, and it must be overcome!
People who study interpersonal relationships are studying this, trying to see if there's a way to overcome approach anxiety. Some people think that approach anxiety is hardwired into our genetic makeup. Others are more optimistic, insisting that those who put their minds to it can overcome approach anxiety.
These approaches may help you to overcome approach anxiety:
3 Seconds to overcoming Approach Anxiety
It's easy to put this approach to work. Here's how it works: the more time you spend contemplating approaching a particular woman, the more anxious you'll become about it - and the less likely it is you'll ever say "hello" to her. The anxiety needs time to build up enough to stop you - so don't give it that time! Within 3 seconds of seeing a woman you want to meet, approach her. This is an approach you have to use all the time if you expect it to be successful. If you start making excuses or exceptions, though, you'll wrap yourself up in them and never meet exciting women! Of course, reality rules: if circumstances absolutely forbid meeting her, such as when you're late for work or she's in the process of getting married, then you can let it go, but if you're in a social situation like a club, go for it!
Cold Cash Can Defeat Approach Anxiety
A wingman is necessary to this approach, but it's remarkably successful. Sometimes, no money is needed - just having a friend there watching is sufficient, if you're concerned about shaming yourself in front of your buddy.
If more motivation is necessary, though, do this: give your wingman five $20 bills or 10 $10 bills. Here's how it works: every time you approach a woman and talk with her, he gives you back $10 or $20, based on some criteria you two agree on beforehand. The motivation here is simple: not meeting women can be costly!
Let's be frank, though. These are just two ways of dealing with the problem. Using these approaches doesn't end approach anxiety, it just helps overcome it for the night. Approach anxiety can be eliminated from your makeup entirely, but doing that will mean getting down to the root cause of the problem.
Despite the claims of those who claim that approach anxiety is hereditary, I think that it's a learned response.
I think that when all the extraneous stuff is swept aside, the one consistent factor influencing approach anxiety is shame.
Simply put, when you're experiencing approach anxiety, what you're really feeling at some level is shame. Perhaps there are elements of your own makeup, like your sexuality, that you're not really comfortable with, or perhaps you don't feel deserving of having such an exciting woman in your life. Who knows? Everyone's situation is unique, and I don't want to paint everyone with a broad brush.
by: Brian Broderick.
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