Early Relationship Advice - Why Dating May Not Be Working For You

Why are so many women suffering from failure in dating and trying to get new relationships off the ground

? Is it that all men are commitment phobic, have issues or are just not interested in a long term relationship? The fact of the matter is that the game of dating has changed significantly from the early days, and actually, no one is quite sure of what the rules are any more. Especially women!

So, why is dating failing for so many women? Well, most of us are repeating the same old patterns in our dating lives, which really are not serving us and so we are dooming ourselves to continual failure. Does any of the following sound familiar to you?

21st Century Dating Tale

Modern woman meets masculine man; they get on well. They have lots in common. They both feel the chemistry. He's a man, genetically programmed to try and get her into bed but she's heard that it's not good to sleep with him too soon, so she manages to resist, despite wanting to.

He keeps coming back, they have some more dates. She falls in love quickly; well after all, he's a great catch and she can already see their future together. He says the right things and she reads too much into it. She feels secure and lets down her guard. Finally, the relationship she's been looking for! She sleeps with him. It's fantastic. Now she's in a fully committed relationship at last!

What she doesn't realise is that he's not yet committed to her. Men take much longer to reach a decision about commitment and sleeping together is definitely not an indicator of this. If anything, it is likely to diminish her value as a potential long term partner in his eyes. He maybe hasn't thought about a future with her. He's just living for the moment, enjoying the ride. "Sure, she's great and we're having fun and that's all there is to it. Oh, and I wonder if she sleeps with everyone she meets that quickly?"

Now she's in a relationship, she starts pressurising him to spend more time together. She texts and calls him regularly or waits in by the phone so she doesn't miss his call. She's enjoying the attention and would like more. He's not quite ready for all this, so he starts resisting. Perhaps he becomes unavailable for short periods. He stops calling and he doesn't always text back.

She's suddenly not feeling so secure. Maybe she has "the talk", you know, the one where she asks where the relationship is going. Now he bolts for it, like a streak of lightening. Suddenly, the love of her life, food of her addiction, has disappeared off the face of the planet and all her neediness and insecurity rise to the surface. She bombards him with phone calls and text messages demanding to know where he is and why he isn't responding. He takes fright at the realisation of yet another "bunny boiler" and runs for the hills. That's it! Relationship finished! Game over!

Learning from your mistakes

I know all this because I used to do it. That was before I found better ways of dating men and met the wonderful man with whom I share my life today. I want to help women who are repeating the mistakes that I did to realise where they are going wrong. By becoming aware of your own patterns of behaviour when you meet a new man, you can start to experience success instead of failure in your dating and relationships.

by: Gen Wright

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