Everyone Knows THIS Makes a Marriage Stronger...Why No One Does It

Everyone Knows THIS Makes a Marriage Stronger...Why No One Does It

By Susie and Otto Collins

It's no secret that resolving the "little" habits, grudges and irritations in a marriage BEFORE they turn into huge resentments, bitterness and distance is a key to creating the close and passionate relationship you want that will last.

We all know that sitting down and talking openly about the points of tension in your marriage can bring relief to you and your mate individually and can also keep you connected.

But hardly anybody does this on a regular basis.

Those points of tension might include: jealousy, disagreements about parenting, differing money habits and unequal sex drives.

You and your spouse might not know how to come to an agreement about how to deal with whatever is coming between you two and so you ignore it, you downplay your feelings about it or you tune out when your partner tries to initiate a conversation about it.

Even if you argue about it, you two aren't truly listening to each other or working as a team to find a solution that will be acceptable to you both and will also help you move closer together.

So, the deceptively minor point of tension grows. One day, you realize that it has become so big, you only feel overwhelmed and helpless to make any positive changes about it.

Marriages have broken up over HUGE disconnections that began as very "little" things.

The secret to a stronger marriage is to pay attention to and deal with the points of tension in your marriage BEFORE they become so big they are unwieldy and overwhelming.

Practice pausing when you feel triggered by something your partner says or does. Become curious about what's going on for you and ask yourself what you need to happen in order to find greater ease about this.

Be willing to say to your mate words like, "I feel bothered by this situation. Would you be willing to try doing it this way and see how it feels for both of us?

This isn't about making a big deal about any little thing that comes up in your marriage. This also isn't about turning every disagreement into a major drama.

Instead, this is about staying in tune with yourself and working together with your partner to address disconnection when it comes up so that you can more easily and quickly get back to the fun and passion of being together.

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