Fighting A Restraining Order During Divorce - The Harsh Realities

This advice article aims to explain the reality behind fighting a restraining order

during a confrontational divorce battle - more specifically, the practical implications as well as the legal process which will be involved. When I set out to write this article, it wasn't my intention to only bring bad news to any readers; there is a light at the end of the tunnel and you can get that restraining order thrown out of court if you're smart.

First of all, the unfortunate fact is that fighting a restraining order takes time, and you need a lot of patience. It also takes a lot of paperwork - some legal cases can last years, and my own legal case lasted almost three years before I was assigned full custody of my two sons.

The great news is that you can stop the restraining order becoming permanent altogether, by defending yourself properly at the court hearing which happens a few weeks after it's been served. You can do this by educating yourself on the process involved, learning how to gather evidence to support your case, and you might consider employing a lawyer to help you out (although it's not required - in the end my ex made me so financially bankrupt that I defended myself at the win in court). Don't worry if you're already past that stage, because you can always rectify past mistakes by changing your tactics and attitude from now on - it's never too late.

One important thing to always remember is that you should be figuring out how to fight a restraining order for your own sake, and not just for your kids. Sons and daughters are important - but so are you. And many fathers don't realise the practical implications of fighting a restraining order that's been filed as a tactical divorce maneuver by a manipulative ex intent on causing trouble.

For example, you may not be aware of the restrictions on firearm use that come with fighting a restraining order. If you're thinking that you already know about this - did you also know that even being near to a firearm whilst fighting a restraining order is enough to land you with an accusation of violating the terms, and you may end up in jail? So if you go to visit a buddy who has a firearm collection in his spare room, you are violating the terms of the order. Clauses and terms explaining this element are often hidden away in small print when you're server the restraining order, or written in confusing language - or both!

Another example is that you may not be aware of the risk to your current or future job. If you work with firearms, it may be obvious that your job is at risk. But did you know that some hazardous chemicals also fall under the clauses in some restraining orders? So if you're a trucker or work on a premises containing some materials, your license to transport or be around hazardous chemicals will be revoked.

Even more alarmingly, any criminal records check done on your name whilst you have the restraining order against you will return the basic details of the situation. You may find that future employers won't take the risk of hiring someone with a black mark on their standard criminal records check, and won't offer you a job you interviewed for. You won't even get the chance to explain that the restraining order has been filed by a vindictive ex who's using phony abuse allegations to win child custody during your divorce!

Having said all of the above, there is one final fact that I want to remind any fathers reading this article of: and that is: Tens of thousands of American dads are winning child custody, despite fighting a restraining order, often filed under phony abuse claims, every year.

As long as you attend the court hearings required, start to educate yourself on your defense, and begin to gather evidence (store receipts, names of witnesses, email printouts, bank statements) that can support your case, you can - and WILL - succeed in winning child custody of your kids. They only grow up once, and sly divorce tactics won't stop you from seeing them as long as you follow the right steps. Good luck!

by: Adam J. Jenkins

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