Dealing with your life after an affair is a task that both couples will have to work on together
. To pull through from this, the couple must work on the likely reasons for why the affair has happened. If they were to work on the symptoms of this only, they would not be making any progress fixing the problem, they would make only temporary fixes.
The one that had the affair must be honest with their partner about the affair and the events that led up to it. Bringing out this information will help build trust, which has been greatly damaged because of this incident.
Talk over why each of you think your marriage is worth saving. An affair does not have to mean the end of a marriage, it will be difficult for the one cheated on, but many marriages have gone on to be very successful. Look at all the positive aspects of your marriage that have made it good, such as how much you have loved each other and your kids and all the good times that have been had.
Keep in mind that there are stages that each of you will go through after the affair. There is no definite timeline set for these stages nor can you set one. They have to be dealt with as time goes by. You will start off with disbelieve and shock that this could have happened to learning how to redefine the relationship. Trust will have to be rebuilt again and this will only happen when proven over time.