Finding The Perfect Puppy

There are no words more frightening out of a childs mouth than

, Mommy, I want a puppy! This sentence is usually followed by a blood oath-like pledge to take care of the puppy through good times and bad, in sickness and in health, until death do they part or until the next Sponge Bob episode is on. Mommies across the globe shudder at these words because they know what their child really means to say is, Mommy, I want you to get a puppy so I can play with it until I get bored.

Upon hearing these words, the Savvy Mom will typically feign a heart attack or small stroke. This will usually buy her some time, but unfortunately for her, not nearly enough. Eventually, her above-average children, little Timmy and Annie, will figure this out and employ a more demanding approach. Similar to Chinese water torture, they will keep chanting their request, in stereo, over and over again until they get some kind of response out of Mom. Most often this response resembles a nervous breakdown.

Once the kids have moms attention, the real pleading begins. Little Timmy loudly whines, I promise, Ill take care of the puppy. You wont have to do a thingplease, please, please! Savvy Mom will usually respond to this barrage with calm reason, You know kids, puppies are a lot of work. They need to be fed, walked and brushed everyday. Are you going to do all this? To this, a quivering lipped Annie replies, Mommy, why do you hate puppies? Didnt you have one when you were growing up? It is at this point Mom can feel her grip slipping. Formerly Savvy Mom goes out of body and hears herself saying, Go ask your father.

As we all know, fathers are very little help in matters such as these. In fact, they often will become allies to the children and tip the balance against Savvy Mom. It usually starts with dear old dad telling the kiddies about the Perfect Dog he had growing up, Sparky. By the time Dad is done, everyone actually believes old Sparky was smart enough to help Dad with his math homework and was instrumental in getting Dad his first kiss with his 7th grade crush, Susie Sandberg. With renewed confidence and a swagger to their skip, Timmy and Annie loudly scream, Yea!! Dad says its OK! The water boarding begins again, We are getting a puppy! Were getting a puppy! Were getting a puppy! Mom quietly asks herself, Where the hell did I put the Xanax?or

Pleasantly medicated, Savvy Mom now concludes the puppy is inevitable. It is only a matter of picking the right puppy.

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by: smilingdog12

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