Focus On What You Want
I often tell clients that they need to focus on what they want in order to achieve success
. Sometimes it can be hard to understand how this focus can help. I use this little story to illustrate the point
In my shady past I was a biker and rode motorcycles everywhere. I changed to cars in my early twenties and never really looked back, until a few years ago.
I don;t really know why, perhaps it was just a mini midlife crisis, but I really felt that I wanted to try out riding a bike again.
Now I hadn't ridden a bike for over twenty years so I decided the best way to go about it was get some help. A local shop ran lessons for people who had a license to ride but that hadn't done so for a while. They lent you a bike and had an instructor lead, or follow you as appropriate.
I got on the bike and, after a bit of a shaky start while I got used to the weight of the machine and how to change gear etc, I soon got the feeling for and and were where getting some speed up on the major roads and having a great time. However, once we got onto some B roads that were a bit more 'bendy' well, let's just say I started to realise that I wasn't doing as well as I had hoped..
The bike always seemed to want to go straight on instead of around the bend. I was making a real mess of it, wobbling slowly around the corners instead of leaning smoothly through them.
Although there was an intercom system for the instructor and I to talk to each other it wasn't the clearest thing in the world so after a while we pulled over for a quick review of how I was getting on.
It was obvious to him what was happening and he had a tip to help.
"What you're doing," he said, "is looking at the corner and focusing your attention on where you DON'T want to end up. Try looking at the road at the exit of the corner, where you want to bike to go.".He explained the principle to me. "Basically," he said, " if you look where you want to go then your body will automatically position itself to make the bike go there"."
We mounted up again and were soon coming up to some more bends. I consciously avoided looking at the grass verge in the middle of the bend and instead focused my attention on the road at the exit of the bend (which was of course where I wanted to end up).
And it worked! I made a graceful leaning progress through the corner actually looking like I knew what I was doing.
The next bend was the same.
As I came up to another bend I wanted to see what would happen if I tried looking at the grass verge instead of the exit to the corner. It was almost a disaster as my cornering was terrible and I almost ended up in a field..
It doesn't matter if you've never been on a bike in your life, or if you ride one every day. This tip applies to life in general.
Your life will tend to go in the direction you focus on!
Another way to put it is...;
You will tend to get more of what you focus on!
Think about something that you may have to do. It could be going to a party or a networking event. Maybe you have to give a presentation, or attend a big meeting where you know you're expected to participate. Then consider what you are focusing on. If you focusing on not making a mistake, not making yourself look foolish, then you are actually increasing your chances that you will make a mistake, or that you will look foolish..
Instead, if you focus your attention positively, on what you want to happen, like acting confidently, and speaking clearly, then you will behave in the right way to make that happen.
What are you trying to change in your life right now?.
Are you saying "I don't want"? (e.g. I don't want to feel nervous)
What happens if you change that to "I want"? (e.g. I want to feel confident)
By the way, in case you're wondering, I didn't buy another motorbike. I decided that owning a riding a bike wasn't actually a real priority for me and decided to spend my time and money elsewhere.
by: Ralph Goldsmith
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