Football Transfer Rumours: Real Madrid To Sign Kasper Schmeichel?
When Arsne Wenger wakes up this morning, angrly kicks away his hot water bottle and
clambers out of his sleeping bag coat, he will look at the 2005 calendar on his wall, congratulate himself again for the shrewdness he showed in taking up that Seven Calendars for One offer all those years ago, and consider with a plantive sigh the fact that it may be time to fork out big-style if he is to have anything to put on the wall in 2013. Some new silverware to go with the antique stuff he already has would be nice and the head of Sir Alex Ferguson would look even better, metaphorically, especially alongside the pampered bonce of Roberto Mancini.
Manchester has been laughing at the Arsenal manager in recent years and Wenger knows. It's one thing having to watch those clubs keep the best trophies in their sordid embrace, but, thanks to the likes of Samir Nasri, Gal Clichy and Robin van Persie, there is a foul whiff of cuckoldry about their conquests. Previous attempts to counter this have failed, indeed some, such as Wenger's swoop for Mikael Silvestre, seemed only to intensify the feeling of being mocked by Manchester.
Now is the time for revenge. And so now, according to assorted websites with no obvious access to the truth, Wenger is plotting to spring Javier Hernndez from Old Trafford. Here, at least, is a bona fide fox in the box! A Mexican fox in the box, indeed, which makes him a zorro in the box. Watching him slash Zs all over the Premier League while Ferguson swears Roonily will ensure Wenger sleeps easy forever more.
Brendan Rodgers is fantasising too. In the Irishman's dream he is no patsy, not the manager of a club that botched a no-brainer deal for Clint Dempsey six weeks ago and is now about to embark on a lavish redevelopment of its stadium so is unlikely to compete in the transfer market for years to come; rather he is the dashing supremo of an elite outfit that wil shortly buy Alexis Snchez from Barcelona, Arda Turan from Atltico Madrid and Darren Bent from Aston Villa. At least that's according to TalkSport, who make their declarations with great stridence, which, as any illiterate website poster knows, is a sure sign of being correct.
But back to Arsenal, because Wenger fancies ensuring Tottenham stay in their place too, so, acording to the Daily Star, he's going to gazump them for Internacional's Leandro Damio. What's more, Wenger wants to put Andrei Arshavin in his place, which, indubitably, is alongside Dimitar Berbatov: hence Fulham will soon showcase the world's most languid strike partenrship.
Chelsea's place, meanwhile, is Brazil. To Oscar, Ramires, David Luis and Lucas Piazon, Chelsea will shortly add Paulinho. The Corinthinians man will swell not only the Brazilian ranks at Stamford Bridge but also the club's collection of tricky midfielders. It's as if Chelea are trying to compensate for years of joyless grinding.
Andr Villas-Boas likes the look of Feyenoord's Jordy Clasie, who sounds like a spolit American teenager from some MTV abomination but is in fact a Dutch international defenive midfielder. And last but by no means least, the Daily Star insists that Real Madrid reckon the ideal long-term replacement for Iker Casillas is Kasper Schmeichel, obviously.
by: jessicapatric
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