From Huntley, Mchenry And Cary, Il-5 Foolproof Methods To Rebuild The Trust Into Your Relationship

In this article you will discover 5 ways to re-build the trust in your relationship that have been proven over time

. Often, what builds trust are not the things you may think of first.

Below are time-tested, proven methods that have been demonstrated, over time, to enhance the level of trust in any relationship.

First, remember this: Predictability is more important than anything else in building trust into your relationship. So, you must be predictable.

This is contrary to the prevailing wisdom that you have to keep promising your partner, over and over, that you will be trustworthy. Yes, reminding your partner how committed you are can be nice from time to time, but most of all, your partner needs you to be consistent and reliable in order to build that sense of trust.

Trust blossoms when being fed with behaviors demonstrating reliability, steadiness and predictability-day in and day out. Next, is the crucial issue of body language.

Be sure to make your words always match the message, as your body conveys it. To feel safe, secure and reassured your partner needs the meaning of your words to match your body language.

For example, if you say you are calm and feel sanguine, yet you are frowning and your body appears tense, your partner will feel distrustful, suspicious and perceive that something is really wrong; s/he will not be able to trust what you are saying. This reinforces distrust and suspicion.

Only when your words match your message as is sent through your body language, can you nurture and enhance trust in your partner. Thirdly, you must demonstrate an overall belief in your partner's competence as a person and your relationship partner.

Otherwise, your partner will not trust your acceptance of him or her. When lovingly communicated, your commitment in the belief of the integrity of your spouse is paramount.

If you can't do this, perhaps, you're with the wrong person.

Next and very importantly, don't keep secrets or give off the impression that you do.

Secrets are a most powerful enemy to a relationship and the trust you seek to nurture. Be sincere and genuine.

Assume that eventually, everything will come out, sooner or later. Secrets require immense energy which is eventually converted to neuroses and psychological dysfunction in the one who holds them.

Fifth, be open and disclose your needs. Don' t expect your partner to guess what you need; psychologists call that "mind-reading" and it is an anti-relationship behavior.

Be authentic. Just don't be egocentric in your attitude or in the way in which you communicate.

Oh, and as a surprise bonus, there's one more:

Sixth, remember that to be honest and authentic, you don't have to say yes to everything, nor should you. Being able to say no in a respectful and empathic way is a central and essential way for your partner to gain trust in your sincerity.

Finally, pursue self-actualization; constantly work to fulfill your potential. You have to start by getting dirty.

You start by digging in the dirt when you are trying to plant an orchid or rose, don't you? The same is true of relationships: When we dig deep down into the muck of our relationships, pain and insecurity may result.

But, if we do the digging carefully, honestly, respectfully and empathically, the soil of our relationship becomes so enriched that a beautiful flower can blossom from it in the future. Conflict and mis-understanding can become important nutrients for progress and self-actualization.

When you strive to enhance trust in your relationship, you will encounter some frustration and anxiety. But, as you persevere in this essential endeavor, over time, you will strengthen you and your partner's intimate bond.

by: Mike Shery

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