Get A Handle On Your Emotions

In an attempt to justify their attitude and behaviour

, I often hear people say things like, Thats just the way I am, Thats my attitude, I cant change it, I just dont think I have what it takes. Often times when people utter such phrases they are unconsciously confusing their attitude with their emotions and because they have no control over their emotions, they believe that they cannot control the attitude that emanates as a direct result of such emotions. So when they are faced with a daunting challenge, they instinctively feel fear and doubt, and immediately reflect those feelings of fear and doubt in their attitude.

They feel that their response is automatic and the ability to respond otherwise is beyond them. However, what many fail to realise is that because we feel a certain does not mean that we must react that way. Because we feel fear does not mean that we must reflect fear or responding fearfully. We can choose to be bold in the face of fear and pursue or goals anyway. All men feel fear but not all men show fear or respond to it. All men doubt themselves to some extent at some point in their lives but not all men succumb to the emotion. By choosing to respond differently to their emotions and by changing their attitude to their situation they were able to change their lives. Once we understand that attitude is not an emotion, but a conscious choice we suddenly put ourselves back in the drivers seat of our lives and take control of how to respond to challenges.

Very early on in my business career, I made the fatal mistake on constantly focusing on the business challenges and not nearly enough on our successes. Thats all changed now. Trepidation used to be my immediate reaction to any crisis we experienced. The problem was not really the emotions, the problem was that I dwelled on them too long, reacted exactly the way I felt and spent lesser time looking for solutions. I spent so much time focusing on the problems that while they seemed to compound, my ability to deal with them seemed increasingly ineffectual. Instead of critically evaluating the situation and seeing what could be done to resolve it and make sure it was not repeated in future, I was transfixed on the problem. With my sole attention on how great my problems were, my subconscious mind gladly pitched in and fervently recalled all my past business mistakes.

Fittingly, my thoughts were well Im really screwed now. Im about to mess up again and this was reflected in my attitude - I couldnt think strategically, I reacted emotionally and all my staff and clients picked this up. Truth is, it was only after I learnt not to react emotionally, take charge of the situation and believe there was a solution that things changed almost overnight. Today, my attitude is completely different. Like any other business, we still face challenges. We have to deal with competitors, clients, growth etc.

However, by now seeing those challenges as opportunities for me to evaluate and fine-tune our business processes as well as get closer to our clients, the business has grown phenomenally. Furthermore, looking at the challenges as tests has not only developed my strategic thinking skills, its also made me a better business person.

by: Femi Adebanji

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