Get Your Ex Back - You Must Get Your Priorities Right If You Want to Be Successful
Get Your Ex Back - You Must Get Your Priorities Right If You Want to Be Successful
The trauma that usually follows a breakup leaves most of us in a state of shock. We say and do the wrong things and when we wake up from the stupor, we are either depressed or sulking making it impossible for anyone to help us, even if we want them to. There is no one to blame for such a state except ourselves. Unless you take control of yourself and your life after a breakup, no body else can bring you out of the emotional mess. This is the time when the only prevailing thought engulfing you is how to get your ex back, but you are simply at a loss as to how to go about it. Too many emotions and jobs to do crowd your mind and you end up doing the wrong things first and the right things, perhaps never!
The first step to get your ex back is therefore to chalk out a plan of action and set your priorities right, instead of moving around like a zombie. Here are some pointers to set you on the right track in terms of prioritizing your action steps:
- Your first priority is to analyze what went wrong in the relationship that resulted in the breakup. Instead of putting the blame squarely on your ex, it is time to look yourself in the mirror and face some harsh realities. To get your ex back, there is no other better way to start. It is imperative to know your follies as well, or else, you can never repair the relationship and get your ex back.
- After analyzing the reasons for the breakup and coming up with some definite pointers, chalk out which of the problem areas are solvable and which are not. Set realistic goals and do not attempt to solve all the problem areas yourself at the same time. If necessary, seek professional help to get your ex back.
- While you undertake a self-improvement program, you also have to do some activities to get your ex back. The first activity you do is to disappear from the scene. If moving out of town or city is not feasible, at least ensure that you ignore all attempts made by your ex to contact you. Do not attend calls, messages or mails and do not even visit the places where you are likely to meet your ex. This No Contact strategy is perhaps the best initial strategy to take after a break up. This not only gives both of you adequate space and time to mull over the episode, but also gives you enough opportunity to miss each other. Once your ex misses you enough, the time is right to get your ex back.
- After reasonable time has passed after your ex left you, it is perhaps the right time to get in touch. However, never make the first attempt to contact. Let your ex pick up the phone or whatever and express his or her desire to meet you. Even if you are highly tempted to make that call, this can be a great impedance to get your ex back.
- Try and fix up the first meeting at a place which is not too crowded. Keep the first meeting short, simple, without confrontation and without any arguments. Be prepared for some ego bashing, facing a barrage of blames, and vociferous statements declaring your inadequacies. Be a patient listener and do not argue back with justifications, etc if you are serious to get your ex back.
- Even if your ex is seeing some, let the matter rest there. You do not have to be overtly curious about this new person, make derogatory remarks or even express your remote interest in the new man or woman. In stead, appear calm and collected giving the impression that you are happy so long as your ex is happy. This disinterest is likely to trigger a desire in your ex to get back.
- Once you are sure that you are going to succeed to get your ex back, do not go overboard with joy and end up making promises which you can not keep in the long run. If there are changes you want in your ex, express your desires upfront as you frankly acknowledge your own shortcomings. At the most, you can mention that you understand the reasons for the breakup and would try your best to make it work this time. Be sincere about your commitments - there is no place for pretensions here, if you want to get your ex back.