Getting Over a Relationship

Getting Over a Relationship

Getting Over a Relationship

So it's finally over. You have broken up with your partner but instead of happily bouncing back into life you are plagued by bouts of misery, hopelessness and frequent thoughts of your ex. Getting over a relationship seems to you to be an insurmountable task. Just when you think you are over them, you are overtaken by feelings of sadness and nostalgia and you get stuck again in a no-man's land of emotional confusion. So what do you need to do to get over a relationship?

1. Determine once and for all if your relationship is really over. I know you broke up but sometimes we break up with people to make a point, hoping that they will come crawling back. Is this what happened? Or did you break up over issues that you absolutely cannot tolerate in your relationship? This is the critical 1st step of getting over a relationship. If you broke up hoping that they would come crawling or just to hurt them, then you will need to decide what it is that you really want from them. If you just wanted to get their attention then you need to sort the mess you created and get help in improving your communication as a couple so that you don't have to resort to such drastic measures. If on the other hand you broke up because of core differences in values then you need to determine whether these values are so critical to your well-being that you cannot live without them. If they are then you need to keep this in mind whenever the regret sets it.

If your ex broke it off and gave no valid reason so that even when you try to explain to your friends what happened you sincerely, do not know, then you need to let them go. If they do not want you then you need to move on as it's usually very difficult to make anyone like you, if they don't, and if you persist they tend to treat like dirt.

2. Now that you know that you don't want them back, you need to grieve for the relationship and for your ex. Remember the good times and your ex's good qualities but remember why you broke up and how the bad things totally outweigh the good. Getting over a relationship means that you must guard against romanticised memories where you just recall the good of your ex and the relationship. Do what you need to mourn for the end of your being together. Some people need to cry, others need to overindulge in some other enjoyable activity for a short time (the key here being a short time) or whatever else helps you cope. This is a dangerous stage as some of us get stuck here. We get addicted to feeling sorry for ourselves or in the new overindulgence (ice cream, food, alcohol etc). In the days right after the break up, you can indulge but there should be less and less of that as days pass. There is no recommended mourning period but you should notice that with each day you are less obsessed with your ex and you are beginning to enjoy some of the things you once enjoyed. The memory of your ex may still pop up but it should have less of an emotional effect on you.

3. Getting over a relationship entails you getting back into living. They are gone and you are still alive so get back into living. The biggest challenge will be filling in the time that you spent with your ex. You need to find something enjoyable to do in the time you spent with your ex otherwise you will be tempted to go back to your ex just so that you are not alone. What are your interests? What do you enjoy doing? What have you wanted to do but have not had the time? This is the time to do this. Do not get into destructive habits as this just gets you stuck on your ex since you will always remember them as the reason that you are in this destructive lifestyle. Do you want to give them that much power over who you become? I would hope not! Get habits that build you up and exploit all the great talents that you have been endowed with.

If you follow these stages then you will be able get over your relationship and even though it may take a while for you to completely get over your ex you will not get stuck so that your whole life becomes about them.

POST COMMENT

Cosplay And Its Relation With Gaming World No Relationship with Your Existing Recruitment Agency? The changing relationship between suppliers and clients Five Ways to Not Choke or Panic When it Comes to Relationship Building Two Types of Women Entrepreneurs at Their Best in Relationships Freedom In Relationships Cultivating And Creating A Daddy Daughter Relationship Best Way To Fix My Relationship Better client relationship through Greeting cards Overcoming Relationship Jealousy - Getting Rid of the Relationship Killer Strengthen Your Relationship With Clients By Sending Greeting Cards Save your Relationship if it Has Hit Rock Bottom Before it Is over for Good! Making An Unsuccessful Relationship Succeed