Getting Over an Affair – For the Hurting and Broken Ones

Getting over an affair is painful and I truly hope that individuals struggling with infidelity can find the strength to hold on

. Although life is turned upside down because of an affair it doesn't have to ruin the rest of your life, so don't let it.

The following advice for getting over an affair is straight forward so please accept my apology if I offend. My intention is to help you and not hinder your recovery.

One of the ways folks deal with getting over an affair is to give themselves enough time to heal. There is so much pressure to make a decision or get on with your life that often times making no decision is better than making a bad decision.

Getting over an affair has been compared by some to the sudden loss of a loved one. There is shock, disbelief, anger and resentment that a part of our lives has been taken away. Infidelity takes you through some of the same emotions with the difference being you have a chance to restore your relationship after the affair.

Another way some folks deal with getting over an affair is to understand that there will be some things that don't make sense. For example, you may look 10 times better than the person he or she slept with. You may never understand what he or she saw physically in the other person. Don't rack your brains trying to figure it out. Also, don't compare yourself to the person because nothing is gained by doing so.

I have found that making a to-do list about getting over the affair has helped some folks. It helps to sort of get things down on paper what your next steps are going to be so that some sense of normalcy begins to return. Here are a few points to get you started. These are suggestions so only use them if it helps you take a step forward.

Prepare a list of questions you need answers to.

Think about and jot down things you don't want to know about. This will help you during the conversation with your partner and protect you from being hurt further. If the conversation starts to go into details you have decided not to get into take a time out and let him or her know it's "too much information".

Schedule some quiet time with yourself to review and reflect about your relationship up to the affair. Write down some of the great things you liked about your relationship when things were going great. You can use some positives to offset some of the negative feelings and thoughts you are experiencing.

Make a list of next things you need to do. For example, if you plan on getting counseling then add "find a counselor" to the list. Are you planning on gently letting your parents or other close relatives know about the affair? If so, then add this to the list.

Getting over an affair will take time but please know that with every forward step you will lesson the pain, anger and frustration.

The most important step you can take in getting over an affair is continuing to love yourself more than anyone else does and dare I say it "forgiving your partner". Yes, I did say forgiving your partner.

I can't wait for the day when you are smiling again and able to trust and love like you never have before.

Please take 2 more minutes and read up on how one couple beat the odds and not only survived the affair but have a joyous and loving relationship.

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Getting Over an Affair For the Hurting and Broken Ones

By: D P Haynes

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