Hold Your Temper To Heal Your Marriage After An Affair
Hold Your Temper To Heal Your Marriage After An Affair
An affair is one of the most cruel and painful betrayals one spouse can commit on the other. When the affair is discovered, there is no doubt that you feel very hurt and furious and you certainly are justified in making those feelings clear. However, once you get over the initial shock if you believe your marriage is still worth saving, you will need to curb your hostility to make progress at healing your relationship.
Cheating is a disgusting betrayal and most likely you will never get over it completely. For any hope to get past the affair though, you will need to control your outrage as best you can. Both of you will need to be able to agree on an acceptable reconciliation if you are going to survive the affair.
You are going to have to make changes in the way you both behave. You can't just try to reestablish the way things were. The affair would not have happened if there weren't some problems with the marriage as it was before. To really heal your marriage and not just extend it, you need to solve the problems that led to the affair.
You both need to agree to expose the problems in your relationship and resolve them in a way you can both accept. This will be embarrassing and aggravating but you will need to hold your temper and reach agreement for any lasting reconciliation to be reached.
If the process gets too contentious for the two of you to manage on your own, you may need to consult an impartial counselor for advice. Many couples find it hard to consult a third-party when they find they need help with their marital problems. It's never pleasant to discuss the intimate details of your marriage with others. This can be a vital step to heal your marriage yet 35% of husbands refuse to meet with a marriage counselor. You must both be at least able to agree on a future course of action for there to be any real hope for saving your marriage.
Whether you need a counselor or can resolve your differences between the two of you, the more open you can be with each other about your problems, the more you will improve your chances for a successful reconciliation. Please understand that by being open I am not encouraging nitpicking every minor difference. Getting through the major problems will be difficult enough.
However you go about it this will not be an easy process for you. It will take a lot of hard work and patience. I know this is a difficult time for you and I wish you the best of luck with saving your marriage.